


Of parenthood and changes

by LeeGale



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, How Do I Tag, Kaneki Ken and Sasaki Haise are separate people, M/M, Minor Character Death, One-Sided Kaneki Ken/Tsukiyama Shuu, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Poor Kaneki Ken, Post Jason, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Um... I'm sorry?, oof
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25917919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeeGale/pseuds/LeeGale
Summary: One day, whilst at work, Kaneki Ken gets a call that changes his life forever...
Relationships: Amon Koutarou/Kaneki Ken, Kaneki Ken/Tsukiyama Shuu (one-sided)
Comments: 55
Kudos: 90





	1. The call

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, before you read ahead, this fic is set in a universe where the Anteiku gang rescued Kaneki from Jason and he didn't join Aogiri Tree. It's starts on the 25th of January, just over a month after Kaneki was resuced.  
> Enjoy!  
> I'll probably add ships as I go along, but Amoneki is end game.

"Hello?" Kaneki Ken greeted one cold January day, having picked up his phone during his break at Anteiku.

"Is this Kaneki Ken? Nephew of Asaoka Yuri and cousin of Asaoka Yuuichi?" the voice on the other end (female, Kaneki noted idly) asked, her tone a purposeful combination of sympathy and detachment. The mention of  _ those two _ made Kaneki's heart stop before he forced it to restart, ignoring the thoughts clamouring for his attention...

"Yes. Is something wrong?" he replied instead of letting his memories getting the better of him, channelling as much concern as he could and purposefully ignoring how his voice shook slightly.

"I regret to inform you of this but... You're aunt and cousin were in a car crash earlier today," the woman on the phone states, attempting to sound like she cared. That made Kaneki pause. They... They'd been in a crash? As much as Kaneki hated them, he didn't want them to be hurt...

"I... What does that have to do with me? I have not been in contact with them since I was sixteen," he stuttered, torn between concern and confusion while twirling the pen he held between his fingers. A part of him said he was being a bit... harsh, considering they were the last of his living relatives, but another part didn't care. After what they'd put him through... He ignored that thought, shoving it down and asking, "Were they hurt?"

The woman on the other line audibly hesitated, and Kaneki stopped fiddling with his pen as he waited for a reply... Eventually, the stranger sighed and replied as sympathetically as she could, "I'm afraid that they both died..."

For a moment, Kaneki froze. They... They were both dead? That... That meant they couldn't hurt him anymore! He... He was safe! He- He probably shouldn't have been so happy that they were dead... Ignoring the surprising amount of comfort he felt at the information, Kaneki forced out, "I'm still unsure as to why that should matter to me."

"You sound rather... nonchalant for someone who has just lost relatives." the stranger observed, audibly torn between concern and confusion. Kaneki couldn't completely blame her. He knew most people at least tried to sound like they cared when someone died, but he couldn't even pretend for them...

"I was never close to either of them," he eventually explained, shrugging to himself and distractedly twirling his pen. After everything, he didn't have enough love for either of them to really care that they were dead. He figured he was just being called because he was their last relative and was left with his aunt's ever-increasing debts or something...

"I see..." the voice muttered, seemingly put out, before audibly clearing her throat, "Even if that is the case, I need you to come down to child services."

That caught Kaneki's attention. He considered why he would be needed (his aunt couldn't have kids after Yuuichi, and he didn't know about his cousins having any...) but couldn't come up with anything, so asked, "Why child services?"

"You cousin had two three week old children, a set of twins... Their mother, who died in childbirth, was an only child and orphan, meaning none of her family can take the children. Which, means that-"

"I'm their only living relative." Kaneki stated, blinking in surprise as his heart squeezed sympathetically, "So... I have to adopt them."

"You do not have to, but it would be preferable." the voice corrected. Kaneki hesitated, considering his options, but it only took him a moment to come to a decision.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," he stated, already packing away and grabbing his coat. he couldn't just let the kids go into care. He hadn't been forced to after his mother died, so he didn't have any personal experience in the system, but if it was anything like how he'd been treated by his aunt? He didn't want the kids to suffer through that...

"Thank you, Kaneki," the voice said, ending the call quickly. Kaneki sighed and was just pulling his coat on when Touka walked in... She paused, blinking in surprise at the sight of Kaneki ready to leave, before asking what he was doing, saying something about his shift wasn't finish...

"Family emergency," the older teen explained, double-checking he hadn't left anything. He had his keys, his pen, his normal clothes, his schoolwork that he'd brought to keep him occupied during his break...

"I thought you didn't have a family?" Touka asked, raising a cynical eyebrow. Not that Kaneki could blame her -he'd said he was an orphan once, fleetingly, and had never mentioned his aunt or cousin...

"My aunt and cousin died in a car crash earlier, leaving behind my two three week old second cousins." he explained anyway, pulling his bag onto his shoulder, "I need to go adopt the kids. Can you please tell Yoshimura?"

Touka visibly seemed surprised at that, but was quick to agree, so Kaneki sent her a thankful smile before hurrying to Child Services...

__________

Three hours later, Kaneki sighed as he adjusted his apartment so that it was suitable for two babies... He'd already met them and signed all the paperwork, but had been given a couple of days to sort out everything. Child services had given him the basics that he would need, including two cots, two baby chairs, bedding, nappies and food, so he didn't need to worry about  _ that _ ... Internally, the ghoul was grateful that he'd babysat Hide's siblings and cousins, meaning he knew at least the basics when it came to looking after babies. However, he was also terrified - he had only spent a maximum of three days babysitting before, so the fact that he now had to look after two babies all the time for the foreseeable future made him feel... unprepared, to say the least...

A sudden knock at the door pulled Kaneki from his thoughts, startling him. He jumped up from where he'd been putting one of the baby chairs together and grabbed his keys (they were a good weapon in a pinch) before heading over to the door and opening it quickly.

"Heya, Kaneki." Kaneki's neighbour, Suzuya Juuzou, greeted with a bright smile, "I saw you moving a bunch of boxes in. Everything okay?"

"Um..." Kaneki hesitated. He liked Suzuya, he really did, but he also didn't trust the stitched up teen... He ignored that, though, in favour of shrugging and replying, "Yeah..."

"Is someone moving in with ya?" Suzuya asked, taking note of the half-finished baby chair and general disarray.

"Yeah," Kaneki answered shortly, moving over to the side to let Suzuya in (he may not have trusted him properly, but he had to be polite, okay? Besides, they hung out enough in each other's apartments for him to allow Suzuya in) as he continued, "Long story short? My cousin died earlier, and I'm his kids' only living relative, so I'm taking them in."

"That sucks," Suzuya sent him a small, sympathetic smile, walking in and perching on Kaneki's couch as he watched the teen make them both coffee the ways they preferred (Suzuya loved his coffee full of so much sugar and milk that it made Kaneki vaguely sick). Although Kaneki didn't trust him all too much, Suzuya had dragged the younger into hanging out on multiple occasions. And that, more often than not, included alcohol, and kinda led to Kaneki chatting about some things about his family, so Suzuya actually knew more about them than most people...

"I mean... I never really cared about Yuuichi. I just feel bad that his kids are going to grow up never knowing their parents..." Kaneki stated, shrugging and passing Suzuya his coffee before sitting next to him.

"How are you going to look after them? You've still got school and work." the older teen pointed put, humming happily when he took a sip of his drink. Kaneki sighed and slumped into his seat, exhausted, but forced himself to speak.

"Child services are setting me up with a babysitter for free," he explained, sipping his own coffee. Suzuya made a sound of understanding, and they both fell silent as they drank... Once they were finished, Kaneki took both of their cups and washed them up. As he did, Suzuya spoke up, breaking the silence.

"You need help sorting yourself out for when they arrive?" he asked, curious as he gestured to the half-finished furniture scattered around. Kaneki sighed, shrugging a little. He didn't want to bother Suzuya, but he did need some help if he planned on getting some sleep any time soon... After a moment's more hesitation, the grey-eyed teen came to a decision.

"I... If it's not going to trouble you..." he replied with a shy smile, a smile that grew when Suzuya said it was no trouble at all and asked what he could do. Kaneki took a moment to consider it before walking over to what he'd been doing before Suzuya called over, showing the older teen what he meant as he asked, "Hold this while I screw it together?"

Suzuya agreed easily, and with that, the pair started to work together...


	2. Uh oh

"Thank you again," Kaneki smiled at Suzuya, leading him to the door once they were finished setting up the last of what Kaneki needed for the kids.

"I told you already, stop thanking me." Suzuya sighed, smiling a little and rolling his eyes as Kaneki opened the door for him, "It's no-"

"Suzuya!" a vaguely familiar man called, rushing over when he saw the teen in question leaving Kaneki's, "Why didn't you pick up your phone? I've been trying to get a hold of you!"

Suzuya and the stranger didn't notice the way Kaneki stiffened, recognizing the man after just a moment. He was the dove Kaneki had faced, when trying to protect Touka and Hinami... The teen shoved the memories of that night (more specifically, of how that man tasted...) away and forced himself to act normal as he tuned into the conversation happening on his doorstep.

"I was helping my neighbour and my phone was in my apartment," Suzuya explained, rolling his eyes, but the man he was talking to was too focused on Kaneki to pay proper attention. He frowned, eyeing the teen curiously... Kaneki blushed slightly under his scrutiny, unable to help it as his mind supplied the fact that the man was actually rather attractive.

"Uh... Hello." he greeted, ducking his head slightly as his brain screamed that the man may recognise him, that he'd be attacked, that-

"Do I know you?" the dove asked, distracting Kaneki from his train of thought. However, before the teen even had the chance to lie, he was cut off by a blonde woman rushing over. A very familiar woman...

"Amon! Did you find- Kaneki? Is that you?" Mado Akira gasped, raising an eyebrow at the sight of Kaneki as she slowed to a stop next to the unknown man (Amon, it seemed...). Kaneki almost cringed at the sight of her but forced himself to get under control

"I... Hello, Akira." he greeted, smiling slightly even as his mind screamed that  _ Akira and Suzuya are Doves holy shit what do I do whatdoido- _

_ " _ It's been ages!" Akira grinned, pulling Kaneki into a quick hug without a single thought, "How come you never call anymore?"

"I... I've been busy. School and work, you know..." the teen replied, hugging back awkwardly. He had no idea what to do! He was being hugged by a dove! The enemy! Sure, they'd known each other for years, but she was still a threat! She-

"You've got a job?" Akira asked, dragging Kaneki away from his mind and pulling away, still grinning. The teen felt a little... uneasy, but she was his old friend...

"Uh... Yeah. I work part-time at a little café now. It's not much, but it pays the bills," he answered, smiling back and shrugging. Despite everything, Kaneki had missed Akira... Even if he felt guilty because of her father...

"That's great! How's school?" the blonde woman in question asked, tilting her head to the side and smiling. She looked almost... innocent, a perfect juxtaposition of her occupation...

"It's school. How do you think?" Kaneki snarked, causing Akira to laugh. It was nice to hear, after so long of not talking (which was Kaneki's own fault. He'd cut off contact after becoming a half-ghoul...).

"Fair enough." she replied, grinning before sobering up suddenly, "I... I have something to tell you."

Kaneki hesitated, already suspecting what she had to say, before forcing himself to ask anyway. Akira visibly paused, taking a moment to collect herself before sighing and whispering, "I... My dad. He... He died. I tried to contact you, but I couldn't..."

"I... Akira... I'm so sorry..." Kaneki half-lied, pulling Akira into a hug. He was sorry, in a way. He'd know the older Mado for so long that it couldn't  _ not  _ hurt when he died. But, Kaneki was also surprisingly okay with Mado's death. The man had been a bad father, despite what Akira said, and he'd tried to kill Hinami... He'd managed to kill her parents! And-

Akira relaxed into the hug, which distracted Kaneki, as she held back a sob. For a few long moments, the old friends stayed like that, hugging in front of Kaneki's door, until Akira was able to pull herself together and smile shakily, leaving the embrace slowly...

"He was a good man?" Kaneki offered, shrugging slightly, which made Akira laugh wetly.

"Please," she teased, smiling and shaking her head slightly, "we both know you hated him."

Kaneki smiled back at that, and Akira rolled her eyes. They all stayed like that for a second, silent yet comfortable, but Suzuya speaking cut through it eventually.

"How do you know each other?" the other white-haired teen asked, tilting his head to the side curiously. Kaneki didn't like the analytical look in those red eyes...

"Our parents were friends," Akira explained, distracting both of the teens from where they'd been having an unofficial staring contest, "Wait, you know each other?"

"We're neighbours." Suzuya explained, smiling at Kaneki, "This is actually Kaneki's place, I live down the hall."

"This is your place?" Akira asked Kaneki, frowning and looking around, examining the area, "Wait... Isn't this your old place? From when you were a kid?"

"Yeah. Mom left it to me in her will, and as soon as I was legal I moved in," Kaneki explained, shrugging. Akira made an understanding noise, but was cut off before she could respond.

"Who even are you?" Amon spoke up, eyeing Kaneki suspiciously. The half-ghoul felt a flash of panic, concerned that he'd been found out, but hid it behind a self-conscious smile.

"My name is Kaneki Ken," he stated, but didn't elaborate. That just made Amon frown deeper as he examined Kaneki. The teen felt both uncomfortable and a little flustered (Amon may have been the enemy, but he was good-looking, okay?), but ignored that in favour of acting like he was completely fine...

"Do you... know each other?" Akira asked suddenly, cutting through the tension and tilting her head. Kaneki answered with a negative as Amon made a noise of that suggested he was unsure.

"He is... very familiar," the dove stated, still eyeing Kaneki, who felt his panic slowly mount but concealed it behind an awkward smile.

"I get that a lot," the teen replied, rubbing the back of his neck shyly, "I just have one of those faces."

Amon didn't seem to believe him, instead raising an eyebrow as he crossed his arms. He opened his mouth, but Kaneki's phone ringing was a distraction the teen was thankful for.

"I'm sorry, I've got to take this," he stated, pulling his phone out and answering as he stepped back into his apartment, "Hello?"

"Kaneki. How are you? Touka mentioned that you had to adopt your second cousins," Yoshimura's voice came from the other end of the phone. Kaneki smiled slightly, hearing the almost inaudible worry in the older man's tone and feeling a little cared for by it.

"I'm okay. It's just... I had to leave early to sort everything out. I'm sorry about that!" he replied, feeling slightly guilty that he had to leave in the middle of his shift...

"It's alright. When will the kids be moving in?" Yoshimura asked, the sound of paper rustling coming from his end of the call.

"Day after tomorrow. I'll have to miss work then, too. I apologize," Kaneki replied, double-checking the info against the paper he'd been given by child services with everything he needed to know... Yoshimura made an understanding noise before responding.

"There's no need to be sorry. But I would appreciate it if you could come in tomorrow. We need to adjust your hours," the older man stated, tone completely normal.

"Adjust my hours?" Kaneki asked, feeling a flash of panic He couldn't lose his job! He needed it! Especially now that he was adopting the kids! He... He took a deep breath and stated "Sir, I really need this job. I-"

"I'm not firing you, or docking your pay." Yoshimura cut him off, something akin to fondness in his tone. That made Kanki blink in surprise before frowning.

"You... You're not?" the teen asked sceptically, frown deepening.

"Of course not. I'll be giving you fewer hours, but you'll still be paid the same," Yoshimura replied, his tone suggesting that it was that simple. However, Kaneki didn't like it. He didn't want to be such a strain on Anteiku! He couldn't...So he tried to argue.

"But Sir-"

"We'll discuss this tomorrow. I'll see you, Kaneki," with that, Yoshimura ended the call, leaving Kaneki feeling very confused. The teen frowned at his phone before tucking it into his pocket and going back out to the trio by his door.

"I apologize for that. My boss needed to talk to me," he smiled shyly, and ignored the way Amon was staring him down.

"What'd he want?" Suzuya asked, tilting his head and looking a little concerned.

"I was at work when I got the news, and had to leave early, so he wanted to see how I'm handling it," Kaneki replied, relaxing as Suzuya nodded in understanding and relaxed too.

"What news? Is everything okay?" Akira frowned, worry radiating off of her. Kaneki felt something in him ache, unable to stop his brain supplying the fact that he was linked to her dad's death, that it was his fault, that she'd hate him if she found out-

"Yuuichi died in a car crash, with his mom, and left behind his kids. They have no relatives on their mom's side, so..." he forced himself to say, ignoring how his mind was screaming at him...

"You're their only living relative," Akira stated, realization dawning on her face. Kaneki nodded silently, and Akira frowned.

"What's going to happen to them?" she asked, clearly worried.

"I'm adopting them, obviously," Kaneki replied, and Akira raised an eyebrow.

"How are you going to balance kids, school and work?" she questioned, visibly concerned.

"Child services are hiring me a babysitter for free, and my boss just said he's going to reduce my hours but keep my wages the same," Kaneki replied, shrugging. He was pretty grateful for that, since he wouldn't have been able to look after the twins otherwise...

"It'll still be difficult..." Akira frowned, obviously worried, before brightening, "I could help you!"

"I... You don't need to-"

"I'll help too!" Suzuya beamed, and Kaneki felt panic well inside him. He'd cut Akira off because he'd become a ghoul and her dad was a Dove, but now she and Suzuya (both of which were Doves now too!) wanted to help him... It could reveal his secret, and then one of them could be the one to kill him, and they'd hate him, and they'd hurt him and-

"You... You guys don't need to do that," he argued, ignoring the way his heart was racing.

"Don't be silly!" Suzuya grinned, "We're going to help, even if we don't 'need' to!"

"I agree. But! We actually need to get to work, so we'll have to talk to you about it some other time. I'll pop by at some point. Bye!" Akira said quickly, leaving so fast that Kaneki didn't have a chance to argue. Suzuya called out a rapid goodbye as he followed, gone in the blink of an eye, leaving Kaneki with Amon...

"Well, I'll see you around, Kaneki," Amon stated, leaving too with one last lingering look. Kaneki blinked again before speaking.

"I'm fucked."


	3. Talks and issues

"Hello, Nishio," Kaneki greeted with a small, exhausted smile the next day, walking into Anteiku to speak with Yoshimura. It made Nishio look up from where he'd been cleaning a cup and frown.

"Touka said you had to leave early yesterday, called me in to take over. Everything okay?" his voice barely concealed his concern, which kinda warmed Kaneki's heart, as he put the cup down and started to make a coffee for Kaneki.

"My cousin and aunt died, yesterday, leaving behind my three-week-old second cousins. I'm their only living relative, so I'm adopting them and had to leave to talk to child services," Kaneki replied, audibly tired as he rubbed his forehead. He already felt a headache building there, a combination of stress and getting literally no sleep the previous few nights (his insomnia and nightmares had been kicking his ass).

"I didn't know you had any living relatives, let alone any so young," Nishio stated, his frown deepening as he tried to pass Kaneki a coffee, only to be refused.

"I haven't spoken to my aunt or cousin in years. I didn't know I had any second cousins," Kaneki replied, shaking his head at the coffee and explaining, "I'm here to talk to Boss about my hours.

"Ah. Go see him then," Nishio stated, moving so Kaneki had access to the back door. That made Kaneki smile and thank him before heading to through the door. As he walked, he couldn't help how his mind wandered. His thoughts kept drifting to Akira and Suzuya and Amon, and how he'd have to deal with them, how'd he'd manage to keep his being a ghoul a secret, how- A sudden voice brought him back to the real world.

"Kaneki!" Hinami greeted, smiling excitedly as she bound over. Her presence reminded Kaneki of everything that had happened  _ that night _ , and he internally cringed. Whenever he thought about it, he always felt so guilty. He'd technically helped kill Mado and he knew Akira would hate him and-

"Hello, Hinami," he replied, a tad more reserved and ignoring his screaming thoughts as he slowed enough for Hinami to walk with him.

"You're not meant to be working today!" Hinami stated, tilting her head as her eyes narrowed, "Is everything okay?"

"I need to talk to Yoshimura about my hours," Kaneki replied, smiling as softly as he could, yet Hinami still looked stricken.

"Are... Are you quitting?" she stuttered, eyes wide with concern as she fixed Kaneki with a terrified look. It made something inside of him ache, so he rushed to reassure her.

"No! No. I just... I can't work as much," he explained, but Hinami frowned as deeply as she could and stepped forward.

"Why? Are you okay?" she asked, grasping Kaneki's arm tightly and gazing up at him. Everything about her screamed concern, which kinda made Kaneki want to wrap her up in a blanket and protect her... But he couldn't, so he just tried to help her feel better.

"I am, I just... I need to look after my second cousins," the older teen replied, smiling as soothingly as he could and gently patting Hinami's head.

"Why?" Hinami pressed, tightening her grip on his arm and pouting a tiny bit.

"Their dad died yesterday, and I'm their only living relative. I have to have fewer hours so I can be there for them," Kaneki explained, and Hinami finally relaxed.

"You're not leaving?" she double-checked, hesitant as she squeezed Kaneki's arm.

"Of course not. I won't be around as often, but I'll still be here," Kaneki smiled at the girl, and she smiled back, a small, bright thing.

"Okay!" she replied, before her expression became slightly curious, "Will I be able to meet them? Your second cousins?"

"Once I've got them settled, yes. I'll bring them by," Kaneki answered, and Hinami grinned. She let go of Kaneki's arm so she could hug him around his waist, practically bouncing in excitement.

"Yay!" she cheered, and Kaneki smiled fondly at her, hugging her around her shoulders and stroking her hair once before pulling away.

"I have to go speak to Yoshimura, but I'll see you after, alright?" the teen checked, earning a quick nod from Hinami.

"Sure! Go ahead! Bye!" the young girl turned and left, disappearing as quickly as she'd appeared. Kaneki chuckled and shook his head fondly before starting to walk again. He moved through the café with purpose, only coming to a stop outside of Yoshimura's office... With a deep breath, he knocked.

"Come in," Yoshimura called, smiling slightly when Kaneki entered, "Kaneki. How are you?"

"I'm... okay, I guess. Stressed," the teen replied, shutting the door and sitting down opposite Yoshimura, shaking his head when the older man silently offered him a drink...

"Well, that's to be expected. But other than that?" Yoshimura smiled softly, putting down the pen he'd been using to write invoices with. Kaneki paused, frowning and cupping his chin. He needed to tell Yoshimura about Akira and Suzuya, since they were potentially a danger to Kaneki himself and everyone else at Anteiku, but he was worried about how Yoshimura would react to the fact that he'd never said anything about Akira or her dad before... In the end, he came to a decision...

"I... have a problem," he hesitated, frowning. Yoshimura tilted his head, silently prompting him to continue. Kaneki's frown deepened before he took a breath and explaining, "I found out my neighbour is a Dove, and that an old friend of mine is too. They know that I'm adopting the kids, and want to help me."

Yoshimura showed no outward sign of surprise, but Kaneki knew he was... The older man seemed to pause, eyes wide and a little concerned, before asking, "You're friend and neighbour are Doves?"

"Yes," Kaneki confirmed with a sigh. When he didn't elaborate, Yoshimura sent him a raised eyebrow, so he forced himself to explain, "I didn't know until yesterday. Suzuya, my neighbour, saw I was moving stuff in for the kids and came over to check if I was okay. I explained what was happening, and he helped me sort out my apartment, for when the kids arrive. After, as I was letting him out, that Dove that chased after Hinami appeared, saying about how he'd tried calling Suzuya. And... As they talked, mu friend -Akira- walked over to us..."

Yoshimura considered it for a moment before speaking firmly, "You're hiding something."

".... Do you remember the dove that tried to kill Hinami? The one Touka dealt with?" Kaneki asked after a moment of hesitation. Yoshimura nodded without a word, although he was visibly curious... Sighing, Kaneki continued, "He... He and my father were good friends, before I was born, s... so he was around a lot for my early life. A... And even when I lost contact with him... I remained friends with his daughter, Akira..."

That got a reaction from Yoshimura, the older man's eyebrow flying up to his hairline and his jaw dropping for a second. However, it didn't take him long to recompose himself, frowning a tiny bit as he asked, "And what do you want to do about them?"

Kaneki didn't know. He honestly had no idea. He didn't want them to even be a  _ potential  _ risk to Anteiku, but if he tried to push them away they'd figure something was wrong... Sighing and fiddling with a loose thread on his t-shirt, he said, "I... I don't know... I mean, I like them both and they're my friends... Even if I cut Akira off after I became... this, because of her dad... But they're both dangerous. If either of them found out about me, if they found out what I am, if they found out  _ who _ I am, they'd hate me. They'd have to kill me and they'd... they'd probably enjoy it. Especially Akira. I mean, it's my fault Amon couldn't get to her dad... So she'll hate me..."

"You don't know that," the older man's voice was completely neutral as he examined Kaneki, whose head had flown up when Yoshimura spoke.

"But I do! Suzuya... He's been through so much because of ghouls..." Kaneki trailed off for a moment, considering if he should disclose what he knew of Suzuya's past before deciding against it and continuing, "And I was there when Touka killed Akira's dad! I stopped his partner getting to him! She'll blame me for his death..."

Yoshimura frowned, looking vaguely concerned, before sighing, "You can't cut them off, they'll realize there's something wrong... You'll have to play along. But carefully."

"But-"

"You have no other choice Kaneki."


	4. Of coffee and run-ins

A little over an hour later, when Kaneki's meeting with Yoshimura was finally over, the teen made his way to the front of the cafe. He really needed some coffee after that... Again, Nishio was the only one up front, and he didn't say anything as he silently made Kaneki a coffee, letting the younger teen take a seat at the bar in peace... Neither spoke for a long while, not until they both had a drink in hand and were sat next to each other at the bar. And even then, it was Kaneki who broke the silence, quietly asking, "You know that dove Touka dealt with? The one after Hinami?"

"Yeah, I remember that..." Nishio replied, eyeing Kaneki curiously. Of course, the younger teen was oblivious. He was too caught up in his own mind to take note of what Nishio was doing... Eventually, though, he forced himself to speak with a sigh.

"I used to know him. Before I became a ghoul..." he murmured, ignoring the way Nishio stiffened and looked confused, "He and my dad were good friends, so he was there for a good chunk of my early life... And I got on really well with his daughter, Akira..."

When Kaneki fell silent, Nishio frowned. He didn't know what was up with the younger man, but he had to find out... So he pressed, quietly asking, "What's brought this up?"

"My neighbour, Suzuya, helped me out yesterday. With setting up my apartment for when I bring the twins home..." Kaneki muttered, concern radiating off of him, "As I walked him out, the guy I stopped on  _ that night _ , whilst Touka dealt with Mado, appeared. He... He said Suzuya was his colleague... But before either of them could say anything else, Mado's daughter arrived. Turns out, she's joined the CCG... And then Suzuya let the fact that I'm adopting the twins out of the bag, so now Akira and Suzuya want to help me look after them... Boss said to let them, but to be careful, so I have to do that, but..."

"You need some advice on how to keep  _ it  _ a secret?" Nishio guessed, and Kaneki nodded. Nishio seemed to consider his options before sighing, opening his mouth to say something only to be cut off by the bell n the cafe door twinkling. They both turned towards the sound, Nishio getting up to so he could get behind the counter and start to serve the customers. But on the other hand, Kaneki tensed at who he saw... The pair stared at each other for a long moment, neither sure what to say, but Kaneki was eventually able to force himself to smile and welcome Amon, who returned the greeting with a polite nod of his head before walking over to Nishio. The older ghoul glanced between Kaneki and Amon, and seemed to hesitate before smirking a little at Kaneki and asking, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend, Kaneki?"

The younger teen sent Nishio a small, slightly flustered glare before clearing his throat and stating, "I've met Amon-san once, Nishio. He works with my neighbour and an old friend..."

Nishio raised an eyebrow at that, catching on easily, before nodding and focusing on Amon, politely asking, "And what can I do for you today, Amon-san?"

"One plain black coffee, one iced caramel latte and two double chocolate cookies, please," Amon replied, taking out his wallet. Kaneki briefly considered how Amon even  _ fit _ his wallet into his pocket, what with how tight his trousers were... He shoved that thought away when the doorbell dinged again, this time announcing the arrival of... Hide? The energetic teen rushed over to Kaneki, grinning.

"Kaneki!" he yelled, barrelling into the white-haired teen, who nearly fell off of his seat, and beamed as he continued, "You know that interview I mentioned? For that job?"

Kaneki nodded, carefully making sure Hide sat down on the stool next to him as the blonde started to grin even bigger, "I got in! It's not much really, just a delivery gig in the CCG, but it's my first job! Can you believe it?"

The mention of the CCG made Kaneki tense minutely and seemed to catch Amon's attention, but he hid that behind a bright, proud smile and an overjoyed, "That's great, Hide!"

The blonde's grin grew and he began to babble about what he wanted to do with the extra money. At that, Kaneki couldn't help but smile fondly, rolling his eyes as he listened to his best friend's ideas... Of course, the peace couldn't last, and Akira walking in all of a sudden made Kaneki focus on her. Hide was quick to pick up on Kaneki's change in demeanour, smirking when he realised that the half-ghoul was looking at a woman... However, before he had the chance to do or say anything, Akira spotted the pair and smiled, walking over and coming to a stop next to Amon, who had been idly chatting with Nishio for a few minutes...

"Kaneki!" Akira greeted, grinning and watching Kaneki closely, "We've seen each other twice in two days now..."

"That we have," Kaneki stated, smiling a little. When Hide smirked and looked between the old friends, Kaneki sighed and rolled his eyes before introducing him to Akira with a tired, "Akira, this is Hide -I've told you about him? And Hide, this is Mado Akira. I've told you about her, too..."

That made Hide's teasing look melt away into a soft smile, ducking his head politely as he beamed and said, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mado-san! Kaneki's told me a lot about you..."

Akira echoed the greeting before focusing on Kaneki, who was happy to just hide in his coffee... The blonde woman smirked a little, tilting her head to the side as she asked, "So... Why are you here, Kaneki? Checking out the wait staff?"

The half-ghoul made a choked sound at that, his cheeks flushing brightly when Nishio snorted, and shook his head, muttering out a quiet, "I work here... The boss needed to talk to me about my hours, now that I'm taking in the twins..."

"What twins?" Hide asked, leaning right into Kaneki's personal space and leaning his head against the white-haired teen's shoulder. Kaneki rolled his eyes fondly, adjusting how he was sat so Hide was more comfortable, before explaining how he came to be adopting the twins... Once he was done, Hide hummed in understanding and declared, "Well then! I'll always be here if you need a babysitter!"

Kaneki rolled his eyes at that, but Akira spoke first, smiling as she said, "That means that, ignoring the sitter child services has agreed to give you, you have three people who're willing to help!"

"Three?" Hide asked, tilting his head to the side. Akira was quick to explain how she and Suzuya had offered to help already, but the conversation between the two blondes soon drifted. As Akira moved to sit next to Hide, Kaneki rolled his eyes again and finished his coffee, only to find Nishio there, ready to provide him with a refill... The pair shared a smile, which caught Akira's attention.

"Are you sure you're not checking out the wait staff?" she asked, teasing, and Kaneki blushed again, rolling his eyes.

"Nishio is straighter than a board," he stated, sending his old friend a fond smile (and ignoring how his heart ached because of the knowledge that he had a hand in her father's death...), "and he has a girlfriend. Who I happen to be good friends with, so..."

Akira pouted a little at that, sighing and rolling her eyes before muttering, "Seriously, how are you still single? You're a catch..."

Hide snorted a little at that, earning a confused glance from Akira, so he explained, "Considering what happened the last time Kaneki went on a date-"

"Hide," Kaneki's voice was just on the edge of icy as he cut Hide off, a flash of purple at the very edge of his vision making him shudder. Hide winced at his tone, sitting upright and muttering a quiet apology. He knew Kaneki didn't like talking about what had happened...

"...What happened?" Amon asked suddenly, shattering the tense silence that had fallen after Kaneki spoke. The half-ghoul found himself instinctively flinching, especially when Rize's feral grin danced beside Amon... That reaction earned him a deep frown from everyone in the room, so he forced himself to take a deep, shaky breath and calm down before speaking.

"I... I don't like talking about it..." he stuttered, shrinking in on himself. Hide and Nishio shared and concerned look before refocusing on Kaneki, both smiling as reassuringly as they could at him. However, before either of them could say anything, they were cut off...

"Kaneki... Please, please don't tell me you're the same Kaneki Shinohara mentioned having to talk to, after he survived an attack by the binge-eating ghoul a couple of months ago..." Akira's voice was soft and low, just on the edge of scared and concerned. Kaneki briefly concerned lying but ultimately decided against it... Instead, he nodded minutely, squeezing his eyes shut to hide away from Akira's reaction. It didn't really stop him from hearing her small gasp, but he was spared her pitiful look, so... For a long moment, she didn't speak, but eventually she whispered, "I... What happened?"

Kaneki flinched at the memory that tugged at his mind, but he managed to force out, "I... I really don't want to talk about it..."

It was silent for a while, no one sure what to say, but eventually Kaneki was able to pull himself together and straighten up, opening his eyes and saying, "I...Don't ask, please..."

"...Alright. Amon and I need to head to work, but remember that I'm always here for you, okay, Kaneki?" Akira yielded, smiling as softly as she could at the teen. Kaneki hesitated, unsure as to if he could trust her, but eventually nodded silently. That seemed to please Akira, so she got up from her seat and gave him a quick, tight hug before stating, "I'll see you around, Kaneki."

With that, she left the cafe. And as soon as she was gone, Amon turned to Kaneki, frowning. It made the teen tense, kinda scared, but he relaxed when all Amon said was, "...I'm sorry, that that happened to you... I guess I'll see you some other time."

Kaneki blinked in surprise at that, although his surprise quickly became a burning heat in his gut when Amon smiled slightly at him, just the smallest quirk of his lips, before leaving, his hips swaying slightly... And damn, that ass... Of course, as soon as Amon was gone, Hide and Nishio sniggered. Kaneki's eyes instantly focused on them. They were both smirking, eyebrows raised, but it was Hide who spoke first. His voice was nothing short of teasing when he asked, "So... You think that guy's hot, huh?"

Kaneki choked on air at that, blushing and babbling about Hide being wrong. Obviously, that just earned him even more teasing, so he pouted but played along. After all, Hide wasn't  _ entirely _ wrong...


	5. Of kids and doves

Kaneki soon found that looking after two babies was... hard. Really,  _ really  _ hard. It had officially been one week since the kids (Hinata and Hiraku) had moved in, and Kaneki was... managing? He'd barely slept and he was constantly on the edge of passing out after the third night of having them, but he was getting what he needed to do. Hikaru was... a noisy little girl, constantly screaming for attention, whereas her brother was a lot more subdued... But they were both sweethearts, really. And Kaneki... He loved them more than he realised he would. Which is why he decided it was time to introduce them to his friends...

Getting to Anteiku had been... an ordeal, but they managed it eventually. Of course, it was just Kaneki's luck that when they got to the cafe, things took a turn for the awkward... When Kaneki walked into the cafe, pushing the double pram he'd been given by child services, he was greeted by the sight of Amon, sitting at the bar and alternating between chatting with Touka (who was surprisingly good at pretending she  _ wasn't _ freaking out because of the Dove's presence) and reading something in a file on the bar in front of him... As soon as Kaneki walked in, the sound of the bell meant Amon had looked up and caught sight of him, sending him a small, polite smile before focusing on the kids. He wasn't the only one focused on them, though, Touka quickly moving away from her post to walk over. She smiled slightly at Kaneki 9looking surprisingly... soft, for lack of a better word), crouching so she could look at the babies properly as she whispered, "What're their names?"

"The one in green is Hinata, and the one in yellow is Hikaru..." Kaneki replied, keeping his voice down so he didn't wake the twins. Touka hummed in understanding, smiling the kinda soft, sweet smile she reserved for Hinami as she held out a hand, offering her finger to Hinata... The little boy took it without a thought, wrapping his little fist around it adorably, and Touka visibly seemed surprised. Kaneki chuckled at that, whispering, "He's a lot quieter than Hikaru, but they're both pretty good and well-behaved.."

"They're adorable..." Touka breathed, eyes bright as she held out her other hand to Hiraku, smile growing when curled her hand around one of the fingers. Kaneki hummed in agreement before suggesting Touka got whoever was out back to come to say hello. She pouted a little at that before sighing and going, having to be careful as she pulled away from the babies... Kaneki followed her to the counter, although he stopped there, sitting on one of the stools and keeping his eyes on the kids...

"They're cute," Amon muttered, seemingly grouchy even as his eyes were bright on the kids. Kaneki hummed in agreement, smiling slightly. The pair were silent for a long moment, both visibly unsure as to what they could say, but Amon eventually broke the tension by asking, "How are you handling them?"

Kaneki hesitated, unwilling to show weakness around a  _ dove _ but also wanting to talk... He sighed, leaning down to adjust Hiraku's blanket as he stated, "I'm... doing my best. I'm taking a few weeks off school to look after them and get them settled, but they sleep enough for me to keep on top of my classwork... They're both pretty well-behaved."

Amon hummed in agreement, carefully helping Kaneki adjust Hinata's blanket. The action was almost... soft, which completely juxtaposed the image Kaneki had in his mind of what kinda person Amon was. After all, the man had tried to kill Hinami... 

_ Speak of the devil and she shall appear, _ Kaneki thought briefly, smiling as Hinami walked out of the back room with Touka and Yoshimura, only to freeze at the sight of Amon. Her eyes widened, terrified, but the dove hadn't noticed her yet, so she forced her reaction down in time to walk over and beam up at Kaneki.

"Onii-chan!" she greeted, rushing over to Kaneki, who quickly asked her to be quiet. She agreed easily, crouching so she could get a good look at the babies as she asked, "What're their names?"

Kaneki softly introduced her to the babies, smiling fondly as the young girl cooed sweetly. Yoshimura and Touka walked over, quietly echoing her, and Kaneki couldn't help but feel content. He... They were his family, in a way, and he cared for them. He- The doorbell dinged, the sudden noise making Kaneki tense, but he blinked in surprise at who he saw, relaxing slightly...

"Kaneki, my sweet!" Shuu gasped, rushing forward. Kaneki sent him a withering glare, eyes silently telling him to quiet down. The former gourmet did it without complaint, smiling charmingly at Kaneki as he asked softly, "Are these the children Touka mentioned that you were adopting? They're almost as cute as you!"

Kaneki rolled his eyes, used to Shuu's antics as, and replied softly, "Yeah. Hiraku and Hinata... And I've told you before - I'm not cute..."

Shuu disagreed with that vehemently, so Kaneki rolled his eyes and sighed. It was going to be a long day if he had to deal with Shuu... 

Before Kaneki could say anything, he was distracted by Hiraku, who started to cry rather loudly. Without a thought, he got onto his knees and took her from her pram, cooing quietly as he checked what was wrong. She didn't need a new diaper, so maybe she was hungry? Thinking that was what was wrong, Kaneki quickly grabbed a bottle from the bag he had on the pram. Unfortunately, Hikaru wouldn't eat... Kaneki put the bottle away, carefully rocking Hiraku as he murmured, "C'mon, sweetheart. It's okay..."

After a few minutes, Hiraku nodded off to sleep, nuzzling close to Kaneki, who kept rocking her slowly. Once he was sure she was asleep, the teen tried to put her back in her pram, but she just started to cry again, so he continued to hold her, carefully getting to his feet and sitting back on his stool as he rocked her back to sleep... For a long while, no one spoke, but Shuu eventually broke the silence by whining, "You have no right to be so adorable! How dare you do this to my heart, mon chéri!"

Kaneki sighed for the millionth time that day, fixing Shuu with a tired glare. Of course, he was so obviously exhausted that Yoshimura picked up on it... The older man visibly frowned, taking a step closer to Kaneki as he asked softly, "Have you slept at all since you adopted the babies?"

"Hmm? Yes, of course!" Kaneki replied, looking up from where he'd been carefully watching Hiraku, "I just... Well, you know I struggle to sleep normally, so the kids haven't helped that... But I can manage! I have naps when they sleep. When I can..."

"Why don't we look after the children whilst you have a nap in the backroom? You look drained..." Yoshimura suggested. Kaneki hesitated, wanting to argue, but he really was tired... He sighed, nodding in agreement.

"I... Wake me up if you need to? Don't hesitate to, really... And only let me have a couple of hours, at most..." the teen stated, standing and swaying as he was hit by a wave of dizziness. Amon's hand shot out, stabilising Kaneki, and the half-ghoul couldn't help but tense. Realising what he'd done, Amon apologised quickly and removed his hand, but Kaneki just forced himself to smile and stutter out, "I... It's okay. Th... Thanks..."

Amon sent Kaneki a small smile and the younger had to shove his heart down, ignoring how it fluttered (Amon was the enemy! It didn't matter how attractive he was!) in favour of listing off how to look after the twins to Yoshimura, who took it in stride easily. Once Kaneki was done talking, Touka stepped forward and smiled when Kaneki tried to pass Hiraku. Keyword: tried. The little girl instantly started crying, and Kaneki felt his hackles rise. He couldn't just leave her if she was uncomfortable, he-

Hiraku reached out to Amon, who was stood close enough for the baby to grab onto his suit jacket. The dove in question blinked in surprise, eyebrow raising at the little girl, and Kaneki quietly died of embarrassment as he tried to get Hiraku to let Amon go, softly murmuring, "C'mon, sweetheart, let Amon go... He didn't offer to look after you, so we shouldn't bother him... C'mon-"

Hiraku wailing made Kaneki tense, eyes widening as he was gripped by a wave of concern. He was quick to check over her, but the only issue seemed to be that she wanted Amon... The teen sent Amon an apologetic look, sighing and carefully rocking Hiraku, soothing her sweetly as he told the dove, "I'm so sorry about this... She's taken a liking to you..."

"It's okay..." Amon replied, smiling slightly at Kaneki before focusing on Hiraku, holding his finger out for her. She didn't hesitate to grab it, calming almost instantly... Kaneki couldn't help but be impressed, but when he went to thank Amon, he found his breath catching in his throat. The older man was watching Hiraku with a look of soft reverence, almost like she was the most amazing thing on earth, and something about that made Kaneki's heart flutter... Amon seemed to realise what he was doing, clearing his throat as a mask of indifference fell into place and he stated, "I could hold her. While you nap."

"I... Oh! I couldn't ask that of you!" Kaneki argued, shaking his head violently. No matter how attractive Amon was, he was still a threat, a danger, a risk-

"Akira's supposed to be getting here soon," Amon shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, "I... I'd just look after Hiraku until she's here. And I'll stay right here, where your friend can keep an eye on me..."

Kaneki just hesitated, but he didn't get the chance to respond. Instead, Yoshimura smiled benevolently and stated, "That is an excellent idea. It seems Hiraku wishes to be with Amon-san, yet you need to sleep... Thus, having Amon-san look after Hiraku whilst watched by Touka and while you sleep is a good plan."

"I..." Kaneki tried, frowning, but Hiraku visibly tightening her weak grip on Amon's finger made his decision for him, "Alright. But tell someone to get me if you can't handle Hiraku, okay? Or if you need to go or anything... I'm so sorry you got pulled into this, I-"

"I offered, Kaneki-kun. It's no bother," Amon stated, smiling slightly, and Kaneki's heart skipped a beat. No way. It was not fair for the man that tried to kill Hinami and was technically Kaneki's enemy to be so damn attractive and kind and generous and-

"I... Still. Send someone to get me if necessary..." Kaneki forced himself to say, carefully making sure Amon was able to hold Hiraku. The little girl didn't mind at all, seemingly happy... Kaneki sighed, frowning a little before continuing, "I... Hinata may want some attention to, but don't feel pressured to see to him too. Ask Touka to or send for me or-"

"Kaneki, my love, I will stay here to make sure your children are safe!" Shuu declared and, surprisingly, that calmed Kaneki... The teen sighed, nodding in agreement before pressing a kiss to both of his kids' foreheads, reminding everyone to get him if needed, and heading to the back... He beelined to the 'nap couch' (a couch in a quiet, darker area of the cafe that any of the staff were allowed to nap on before or after their shift), tugging off his jacket on the way. He folded the article of clothing up and laid it on the table next to the couch, removing his shoes and neatly putting them away before checking that his phone was on full volume and setting it down on top of his jacket. Quickly, he grabbed a blanket, turned the light off and settled onto the couch. Sleep didn't come easy to Kaneki, despite how exhausted he was, but it did come eventually...


	6. Naps and chats

A while later, Kaneki was brought back to the world of the living by an unfamiliar voice... The sound set him on edge, prompting his still half-asleep brain to reach for the nearest weapon it could - a hardback book on the table next to him. He sat up, eyes wide and ready to fight, only to blink in surprise at who he saw... Sighing and putting the book down, he asked, "A... Amon-san? Is... Is everything alright?"

"Of course, Kaneki-kun," Amon reassured, smiling slightly as he stood near the doorway to the room, "Yoshimura-san suggested that I come wake you..."

Kaneki smiled the tiniest bit at him, still soft from sleep as his brain didn't completely process the threat Amon posed to him... He stood up, stretching long and slow, surprisingly refreshed after his nap... Of course, his calm melted away soon enough, prompted by the small breeze he felt brushing against his stomach as he thanked Amon for waking him.

"Those are some pretty... violent scars..." Amon observed, frowning and eyeing the scars in question suspiciously. Kaneki felt a flash of panic as he tugged his shirt down, tucking it in and trying to come up with an excuse. He couldn't, not off the top of his head, so he stuttered through a clearly fake lie...

"I... I'm pretty cl... clumsy..." he muttered, cupping his chin and avoiding Amon's eyes. The dove in question didn't look convinced, but he didn't press, much to Kaneki's relief. Instead of asking any uncomfortable questions, Amon suggested they headed back to the main cafe and Kaneki agreed easily but only after insisting that he cleaned up before he went. Amon hummed a note of consent, leaning against the door frame as Kaneki got to work. The teen could feel the older man's eyes on him as he tidied up and gathered his things, a little fact that made him fluster slightly... Not that he could be blamed, exactly. Amon might have been the enemy and a threat, but he was unfairly attractive and very much eyeing Kaneki up...

The teen ignored his feelings as they both left for the cafe area, leading Amon efficiently. They were both silent as they walked, unsure what to say, until they got to the cafe. Once there, Kaneki blinked in surprise, an amused huff leaving him without his permission... Akira was happily curled up in one of the booths, seemingly talking about work with Suzuuya and a man Kaneki vaguely recognised. What actually made the teen happy, though, was the fact that both Akira and Suzuuya were rocking one of the kids each, much to the man they were with's obvious confusion... Before Kaneki could even speak, he found a cup of coffee being shoved into his hands as Hinamai spoke quickly, "Onii-chan! Did you sleep well?"

"I did," Kaneki replied, purposefully leaving out the fact that he may or may not have been having a nightmare when Amon woke him up... The dove in question seemed to catch on to that, raising an eyebrow at Kaneki (which made the teen wonder how obvious he'd been when caught up in the throes of his inner turmoil) but not saying anything... Of course, Akira noticed Kaneki at that exact moment, grinning and calling him over. The teen heaved a faux-annoyed sigh and walked over, hiding his small smile behind his coffee as he quietly greeted the group with a soft, "Hello. I hope Hinata and Hiraku have been good..."

"They've mostly slept," Akira whispered, smiling down at Hinata fondly. Kaneki hummed understandingly and took a sip of his coffee. As he did, Suzuuya beamed at him.

"They're so cute!" he almost squealed, clearly enamoured. Kaneki huffed, amused, before agreeing. They were adorable kids... The man the pair was with eyed Kaneki with some kind of recognition, so the teen smiled shyly before introducing himself.

"Hello. I'm Kaneki Ken, an old friend of Akira's and Suzuuya's neighbour... I'm sorry that your meeting was... sidetracked by my kids. I was napping..." he bowed lowly before standing upright, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. The man blinked in surprise at the name drop before frowning. He seemed to think for a moment but came to a conclusion quickly, nodding to himself before speaking.

"I believe we met a couple of months ago, Kaneki-kun," the man stated, making Kaneki frown. Sure, he looked familiar, but when did- Oh!

"Oh! Investigator Shinohara! I'm sorry, I forgot what you looked like..." Kaneki replied, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. Shinohara smiled at him, saying something about how it was fine before asking Kaneki how he'd been since his attack. The teen hesitated, glancing around the room for a moment, but forced himself to stutter out, "Um... Mostly well... It... It's been difficult to... You know... Get used to being half-blind... But I'm handling it."

Shinohara nodded in understanding, but was cut off before he could say anything else, Suzuya's curious voice asking, "You two know each other?"

"...You know I told you about the incident I helped with, with the binge-eating ghoul?" Shinohara questioned, continuing when Suzuya said he did know, "Kaneki-kun here was the boy involved in that the one hurt by the ghoul."

That made Suzuya blink in surprise before turning to Kaneki, opening his mouth to speak, but the younger teen cut him off with a shakey, "Please, Suzuya... Don't go there..."

For a moment, Suzuya visibly hesitated, but eventually he nodded, changing the topic by saying, "Oh! I think I've told you about Shinohara-san before, Kaneki!"

Kaneki hummed curiously, sipping his coffee as Suzuya began to ramble about what he'd told Kaneki about Shinohara. As Suzuya talked, Kaneki couldn't fight how his mind wandered, drifting off to the memories that had been plaguing him ever since the call he'd gotten about the kids... It was all he could think about often enough, when he wasn't too busy thinking about the kids. What he'd been through, his early life, what-

"How do you know Mado, Kaneki-kun?" Shinohara asked suddenly, stealing Kaneki's attention. It took him a moment to register that he'd been spoken to, but he was able to reply quickly enough.

"Our fathers were good friends," he stated, earning a nod from Akira.

"They were!" she agreed, sending Kaneki a fond smile (and completely oblivious as to how his heart ached at the reminded that her dad was dead because of him), "They introduced us to each other when Kaneki was... Three, maybe? Right, Kaneki?"

Kaneki shrugged. He couldn't remember... He told Akira as much, earning a shrug as the blonde woman said, "That makes sense. You were really young... I was seven at the time, though so it fits... Although, I only remember how old I was because it was my birthday..."

Quietly, Kaneki hummed in agreement. In truth, he struggled to remember large chunks of his childhood (his therapist said it was a result of trauma, but he didn't know for sure...), so it was no surprise he had no recollection of when they met... Akira didn't seem to mind, though, turning serious as she informed Kaneki, "We were discussing how best to deal with ghouls... There's rumours of a ghoul-human relations program flying around, but none of us are exactly on board with that..."

"Seems like not a bad idea, really," Kaneki replied, shrugging. Akira sent him a scandalised look, so he rushed to defend his stance, "What? If you have a program like that in place, you can control how ghouls... feed and reduce fatalities. Plus, fewer people with the CCG are likely to get killed..."

Akira raised an eyebrow at that, clearly thoughtful, before murmuring, "Huh... Guess I never thought of it like that before... I still would never  _ trust _ a ghoul, though."

Kaneki's heart ached at the reminder that he had become the one thing Akira hated most in the world (which really hurt because, after so long of knowing each other, she was the closest thing he'd ever had to a sister...), but he ignored that. Instead, he chuckled to himself, smiling slightly as he stated, "That's understandable... But it'd be a good way to reduce how many people die..."

"Are you... a ghoul sympathiser?" Amon asked, suddenly next to Kaneki. The teen jumped, almost dropping his cup but catching it at the last second. He couldn't help but glare at Amon before realising what he was doing, clearing his throat and forcing himself to look normal as he replied.

"I... I just... I don't think that ghouls are heartless like people want us to believe... But, to be honest, I'm mostly okay with the idea of a relations program between ghouls and humans so less people -on all sides- die..." he explained, earning a cynical look from Amon. The dove didn't believe him... Thankfully, though, Shinohara spoke up before Amon could press.

"To change the topic before there's an argument... Aren't you a little young for kids, Kaneki-kun?" the older man cut in, eyes on the teen. For a moment, Kaneki considered his words, before shrugging and rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'm nineteen, actually, so I am old enough to have kids," he stated, earning a raised eyebrow from Shinohara, "And... I adopted the kids, a little over a week ago, when my cousin died in a car crash. I'm their only living relative..."

Shinohara winced, tone apologetic as he rambled, "I... I'm sorry for your loss... It must be difficult, raising two kids on your own so young... of course, unless you're not on your own? You may have a girlfriend..."

Kaneki couldn't help but chuckle, shaking his head and cutting off Shinohara's babbling with a soft, "It's okay, Yuuichi and I were never close... And, yes, I am raising them as a single parent - no girlfriend, boyfriend or other kind of partner- but I have a good support system, so it's going well..."

"You needed to take a nap, Kaneki! A  _ nap! _ The last time I remember you ever napping was that time you crashed after we went to that waterpark... And you were fifteen at the time!" Akira exclaimed, her voice just on the edge of too loud. She woke both of the babies, who started to cry. Hinata was easy enough for Akira to calm, but Hiraku on the other hand... She wouldn't stop bawling, so Kaneki took her from Suzuuya. Thankfully, she almost immediately calmed, eyes shutting as she nuzzled Kaneki. The teen smiled softly at her, heart warm, before focusing on Akira.

"Akira, you know I don't sleep well normally. But, you know... Nightmares, insomnia and kids don't mix well," he kept his voice low, soft, quiet, so that he didn't disturb his sleeping daughter. Akira frowned, shuffling and gesturing for Kaneki to sit next to her. He hesitated, glancing at the other occupants of the table before sitting. As he did, Akira quietly asked about his nightmares... Sighing, Kaneki sent her a flat look and stated, "Akira, I nearly  _ died _ just a couple of months ago..."

Akira winced at that, clearly upset by the reminder, so Kaneki was quick to change the topic before she asked him to discuss his  _ feelings _ . He quickly turned the conversation on Shinohara, asking, "Are you really good in combat as Suzuya says?"

"I... That depends on how good he says I am..." Shinohara replied, going with it. Kaneki was thankful for that. He hated discussing  _ that night _ ... Soon, the conversation devolved into different fighting strategies, but Kaneki couldn't relax and just go with it. Not with Amon stood where he was, practically leaning over his shoulder... For a few minutes, while the other three talked, Kaneki and Amon remained silent, right until the older man leaned down slightly and spoke quietly into Kaneki's ear.

"When I went to wake you up, you were clearly having a nightmare and mentioned your mom, aunt and 'Yuuichi'..." he whispered, and Kaneki tensed. He glanced at Amon from the corner of his eye, smile still in place but on the faker side...

"Say anything to Akira and I  _ will _ find something on you, Amon-san," he hissed through his teeth. Amon blinked at that but didn't say anything. Instead, he nodded and leaned back, still inclining on the back of the seat but not right by Kaneki's ear anymore. The teen hated that Amon knew about that... He ignored his feelings in favour of listening to the conversation, smiling and speaking occasionally...


	7. Family

Eventually, the doves had to leave for work, and as soon as they did, Kaneki flopped onto a stool at the bar, letting his forehead fall onto the counter as he groaned, "That was so awkward..."

"That Amon seemed to like you," Touka commented with a smirk from her spot sat on the floor next to the pram as she played with the babies. Kaneki moaned at that, shutting his eyes. Hinami giggled at him, but he paid her no mind. He was too caught up in the memory of what Amon had said... Speaking of, and Touka shall bring it up, asking, "What was that comment he made? About you having a when you napped?"

Kaneki tensed. He didn't want anyone to know about that or worry about him or even  _ think _ about his past-

"I... They're all dead, Touka. I had a nightmare about them being dead..." he forced himself to lie. The other ghoul didn't seem convinced, but she didn't get the chance to say anything, cut off before she could.

"You've never told us anything about your family, Onii-chan..." Hinami commented, frowning as she pulled herself onto the stool next to Kaneki. The older teen hesitated. He hated talking about his family life... Sighing, he shrugged.

"I... There's not much to say..." he muttered, cupping his chin and avoiding eye contact. Hinami tried to say something but was cut off by the door opening. In walked Yomo, who paused when he saw that Hinami looked distressed and Kaneki seemed spooked... Silently, he tilted his head, asking without words what was going on. Again, Hinami tried to speak but was cut off, although this time it was by Kaneki, who's voice shook just the tiniest bit as he stated, "Hinami was asking about my family, but there's nothing to say about them..."

Yomo raised an eyebrow at that before shrugging and murmuring, "If you don't want to tell us, don't..."

Kaneki's heart warmed at that. He was glad Yomo wasn't pushing him... He smiled at the older man and nodded at him before changing the subject by asking, "So... What do you guys think of the kids?"

"They're adorable!" Hinami exclaimed, beaming as she glanced at the babies, who were happily asleep. Touka echoed the sentiment, as did Yoshimura and Yomo (although the latter only hummed in agreement). Kaneki relaxed, smiling slightly as Hinami startled to babble about how cute the kids were. As everyone began to talk about the kids, Kaneki checked the time, doing a double-take when he saw how late it was.

"I need to start heading home," he stated, standing and stretching. Hinami made a small, sad noise, so he smiled at her and explained, "It's nearly time to close up anyway..."

"Kaneki is right," Yoshimura agreed. Hinami pouted, so Kaneki fondly rolled his eyes and gave her a tight hug. She hugged back as tightly as she could, letting go only when Hinata started to cry. Kaneki rushed to help his baby, scrunching up his nose when he was hit by a waft of disgustingness... Sighing, he grabbed what he needed to and rushed to the bathroom, changing Hinata as quickly as he could before returning to the cafe. Once there, he blinked in surprise... Shuu was back and happily cooing at Hiraku... The gourmet realised that Kaneki was back quickly, looking up and beaming.

"My love!" he exclaimed, walking over with Hiraku in his arms, "Touka said that you have to leave! Why so soon?"

Kaneki shrugged, but when Shuu pressed, he sighed and murmured, "The kids need to get home, Shuu..."

"Well, I shall help you get home-"

"I'm fine on my own, Shuu," Kaneki cut him off with a sigh, "Besides, I have some shopping I need to do before we can actually  _ go _ home..."

"We can help with the shopping," Shuu argued, pouting a little, and Kaneki sighed again. He opened his mouth, ready to say no, but was quickly distracted when the door to the cafe burst open. Without even thinking, he reached for the knife he kept in his jean pocket sometimes, but he relaxed when he realised it was just a very frazzled, obviously exhausted customer. He sent them a smile before putting Hiraku in her pram. However, before he could do anything else, his phone began to ring... Frowning, he grabbed it and clicked 'answer', bringing it to his ear...

"Hey!" a smile was audible in Hide's voice as he spoke, "Do you want me to come by with take-out so we can do our homework together?"

"...Sure," Kaneki replied, smiling slightly and tucking his phone between his ear and his shoulder so he could kneel down and tuck Hiraku into her blanket, "I have some shopping to do, but then I'm heading home..."

"Cool! Do you want me to meet you and help with the shopping? Or do you just want me to do it? You mentioned that you were taking the kids to Anteiku, so they're probably with you, and it'd be better for you to just get them home, right?" Hide babbled on, the sound of traffic echoing down the phone on his end. Kaneki hesitated, unsure what to say. He didn't want to be a bother, but Hide was right... Sighing, he forced himself to reply.

"I'll text you a list and pay you when you get to mine," he stated. Hide agreed easily, rambling something about picking them up a couple of pizzas to share before ending the call. Kaneki couldn't help but chuckle at him, but he was quickly distracted by Shuu.

"Who was that?" the gourmet was practically pouting, jealousy just dripping from him. Kaneki resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he clicked on his texts.

"Hide. He's coming over to mine so we can catch up on homework together, so I'm not behind when I go back to school," he explained, typing out a list of the basics he needed (he didn't expect Hide to get all of his shopping, so he only sent a list for the next couple of days), "He's picking up some pizza and some shopping for me, so I can just head home..."

Shuu continued to pout, so Kaneki sighed, sending off his text and putting his phone in his pocket. He hesitated, unsure what to say, before forcing himself to ask, "Will you cheer up if I promise to call you later? After Hide's gone?"

"Of course!" Shuu instantly perked up, and Kaneki sighed again. Sometimes, he wondered why he put up with Shuu's obsession... Of course, he never voiced that, so instead, he smiled at everyone and, after making sure the babies were okay, left the cafe...


	8. Of pasts and chats

When Kaneki finally got home, he was feeling much more frazzled than he had when he'd left Anteiku. For some reason, the twins had decided to be... difficult on the way back, so the journey had been pretty troublesome. But Kaneki managed to get back eventually... Of course, it was just his luck that he walked out of the elevator just as Suzuya seemed to be unlocking his door, Amon and Akira stood just behind him, chatting. He didn't even get the chance to consider running away, since Akira caught sight of him and grinned, calling out, "Kaneki! Are you just getting home?"

Kaneki nodded, smiling slightly at the trio and pushing the pram to his door. Akira didn't seem to mind how quiet he was, starting to babble about how she and Amon had dealt with a ghoul who'd been trying to attack a woman. As he listened to Akira, Kaneki felt a flash of panic and concern, worried about the chance of someone he knew being hurt, but hid that behind a curious hum. He pulled his keys from his pocket, unlocking his door and waiting for Akira to finish speaking. However, before she did, she was distracted by a familiar voice...

"Kaneki! I couldn't get everything- Oh! Hi, Kaneki's friends!" Hide greeted, beaming as he arrived at the top of the stairs, "What are you doing here?"

"Amon and I needed to speak to Suzuya, Kaneki's neighbour," Akira explained, earning an understanding noise from Hide. As the two blondes began to talk (Hide mentioned his new job? And Akira offered to show him around when he started?), Kaneki sighed and sent Suzuya a tired eye-roll. That startled a small chuckle out of both Suzuya and Amon, the latter of which made Kaneki's heart flutter somehow...

"So, Hide, why are you here?" Akira asked, catching Kaneki's attention. He glanced between both of his old friends, eyes narrowing when Hide grinned.

"Kaneki and I are going to have pizza and catch up on our school work!" he explained, his words earning him a smirk from Akira. The older woman glanced at Kaneki, her smirk growing even more, before she spoke up.

"So... A study date?" she teased, and Kaneki groaned, hiding his face in his hands. Akira always tried to set him up, but it never worked...

" _ Akira _ ..." he sighed, pouting and removing his hand to glare lightly at her, "Hide's straighter than you. Please,  _ please _ , stop it..."

"I just want you to be happy, Kaneki," Akira replied, shrugging, and Kaneki sighed. He was tired of people caring so much about his completely non-existent love life...

"Akira, I've told you before - I don't want nor need a relationship," there was a slight edge to his tone as he spoke, glaring at her. That made Akira visibly deflate, and Kaneki felt a sharp stab of guilt. He hadn't meant to upset her... Sighing, the teen forced himself to smile and murmur, "... I'll let you try to set me up with one -only  _ one-  _ person you think I'll get along with. But you have to be sure I'll like them, they have to like guys and handle the fact that I have kids."

Akira beamed at that, and Kaneki instantly regretted his offer...

"I'll find someone just for you!" Akira declared, rushing to grab Kaneki's hand, only to stop when he flinched away. That made her frown deeply, so Kaneki internally cursed himself. He took a deep, grounding breath and opened his mouth to apologise, only to be cut off...

"Shit! The pizzas are gonna get cold!" Hide gasped, seemingly oblivious to the tension between Kaneki and Akira. That made Kaneki sigh, but he forced himself to smile at Akira and reach out, squeezing her hand quickly. That made Akira relax and smile as Hide rushed past Kaneki, hurrying to take the shopping and pizzas into his apartment. As soon as he was out of sight, Kaneki rolled his eyes fondly.

"I need to make sure he doesn't eat all of the food before I even get a bite," he lied, ignoring how his stomach churned at the thought of human food. Akira nodded, smiling and saying a quick goodbye, which Suzuya echoed before tugging the blonde into his apartment. That left Kaneki and the kids alone with Amon... It was awkwardly quiet for a split-second, but Kaneki was quick to force himself to speak, stuttering out, "I... I hope you have a nice evening, A... Amon-san..."

With that, he turned and started to push his pram into his apartment, but he was stopped when Amon called out, "Wait!"

Kaneki froze, hesitating before turning around and facing Amon with a curious look. The older man seemed... awkward, for lack of a better word, as he cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck. When he remained silent, not elaborating on why he stopped Kaneki, the teen frowned and opened his mouth, ready to ask what was wrong. Of course, that was when Amon got up the courage he needed to speak, forcing out, "I just... I wanted to apologise. For how rude I've been to you..."

For a moment, Kaneki couldn't help but gape at Amon. He... He hadn't expected that... However, he forced himself together, smiling a little bit and stating, "It's alright, Amon-san. I know I've been... suspicious, so I don't blame you for how you acted."

Amon raised an eyebrow at that before smiling slightly, speaking quietly, "I... Akira told me a little about your past. I-"

"That was not her place," Kaneki cut him off, tone clipped and low-key pissed. He... He couldn't believe Akira! She'd told this stranger about his past! She hasn't even asked if he was okay with that! How dare she-

"She didn't go into detail," Amon's voice was just on the edge of placating as he smiled reassuringly, "She just said that you've been through a lot, so are pretty uncomfortable with strangers. She said that was why you were so unwilling to talk to me..."

Kaneki eyed Amon warily, disbelieving, but eventually caved, sighing and nodding.

"I... Alright... But, please, don't... If you have something you want to know about me, Amon-san, ask me, not Akira..." he muttered, rubbing his forehead tiredly. Amon nodded in agreement and got ready to speak, only to be cut off by Akira appearing at Suzuya's door and speaking up.

"Are you coming, Amon?" she asked, seemingly oblivious to the way Kaneki was glaring at her. Amon, though, noticed and winced slightly...

"Akira," Kaneki's tone was short and just a little harsh, only enough to make Akira's eyes widen, "In the future, please don't discuss my past with your co-workers."

Akira seemed to tense, her entire expression torn between apologetic and scared, so Kaneki sighed and relaxed. He didn't want to upset her... So, instead of letting Akira stew in her thoughts, he forced himself to say, "I'll let you off this time, Akira. But in the future..."

"I know. I'm sorry, Kaneki..." Akira pouted, wrapping her arms around herself self-consciously. For a moment, Kaneki hesitated, considering what he could do to make Akira feel better... Eventually, he smiled slightly at her, walking over and squeezing her shoulder.

"It's okay..." he breathed, smiling slightly before clearing his throat and stating, "Anyway. I need to get going..."

"Oh! Sure! Have fun!" Akira beamed, and soon enough Kaneki found himself back in his apartment, tucking his kids into their beds for a nap... When that was done, Kaneki went back to his living room, smiling slightly when he realised Hide had set up their pizza and the TV.

"Let's eat and watch something, then I really need your help with this analysis work. Seriously, what even is this?" Hide said by way of greeting, and Kaneki agreed easily, sitting next to his friend and grabbing a slice of pizza. As Hide pressed play on the movie he'd set up, Kaneki forced himself to eat his food, ignoring how slimy and gross it was. He really hated eating nowadays...

"So, Kaneki, Amon, huh?" Hide asked about halfway through the movie, when all the pizza had been eaten, his tone just on the edge of teasing. Kaneki couldn't help but blush brightly, glaring at his friend and ignoring how his heart fluttered. 

"I... I have no idea what you mean," he forced out. Hide's smirk grew at that, but Kaneki cut him off before he could start teasing by asking, "What's the movie about?"

For a moment, Hide pouted, but he was quick to bounce back, grinning and explaining the film. Kaneki couldn't help but sigh as he settled in. It was going to be a  _ long  _ evening...


	9. Trouble...

The next time Kaneki left his apartment, it was on a trail run. The baby sitter child services had assigned to him (an agender person from New Zealand called Blake) needed a chance to spend some time with the twins without Kaneki hovering over them, so he'd decided to leave the trio alone for the day. He actually had a plan for the day, most of which would consist of catching up on his ghoul duties but also included a pretty big shopping trip to get groceries. At least, that was the intention...

It was all going pretty well. Kaneki was out doing his rounds, making sure no ghouls were out of line or eating in the wrong territory or being attacked by the CCG, when he himself was attacked... It happened suddenly. One moment he was slinking through the shadows, keeping an eye out absentmindedly, then the next he had a quinque aimed at him, a very young Dove at the other end of the weapon... Kaneki internally cursed his own lack of awareness (he may have been thinking about a certain different Dove...) and jumped back, landing on the top of a dustbin. The Dove was pretty obviously green, a newbie, and Kaneki almost considered just running away from the fight. Almost... He was stopped from doing so by another Dove, who had managed to sneak up on him and was stood between him and the only other exit to the alley they were in. Neither of the Doves seemed sure what to do, apparently surprised to have gotten the drop on Kaneki, which gave the half-ghoul an opening...

In an instant, he was moving. The first Dove, the younger one, had a quinque almost similar to a katana and his grip was fairly loose, so it was easy enough for Kaneki to use his kagune to hit it aside. As soon as the weapon was out of the Dove's hands, Kaneki tried to rush past him. Key word being tried... Instead of a free path to the exit, Kaneki was cut off by a very familiar pair. He hesitated at the sight of Suzuuya and Shinohara, his eyes widening when he saw the manic look in Suzuya's eyes. He'd never seen the other teen look so murderous... He didn't have long to dwell on that, though, since he quickly found himself having to dodge a scythe as Suzuya giggled madly and called out, "So you're the ghoul that stopped Amon getting to Mado, huh? You're Eyepatch?"

Kaneki didn't bother speaking, preferring to try to dodge Suzuyua's attacks. Although, that was easier said than done. The older teen was surprisingly swift... And he had back-up, which gave him the edge on Kaneki. At least, at first...

"Eyepatch!" a sudden voice yelled, just preluding Touka's appearance by his side, "I thought you weren't supposed to be apprehending any Doves, you dumbass?"

Ah, yes. That had been something Yoshimura had made him promise to do... The older man had insisted Kaneki did as little to endanger his life as possible, for the sakes of the twins, and Kaneki had agreed... Although, he couldn't be blamed for this situation, so he sighed and moved until he had a view of the two Doves behind him and Touka, stating, "In my defence, I was distracted..."

"I swear to God, if you were thinking about that guy you have a thing for, I'm gonna be  _ pissed _ ," Touka snarled, dodging an attack Suzuya aimed at her. Kaneki couldn't help but blush brightly, so much so that his ears turned pink, as he used his kagune to knock the second Dove that had appeared off of his feet.

"I... I don't have a crush on him! He... I... He's just good-looking!" Kaneki stuttered, voice nothing short of embarrassed and, for some reason that completely eluded Kaneki, that made all the Doves falter. They almost seemed... surprised...

"I never said  _ who _ I was talking about..." Touka teased, her smirk practically audible through her mask, and Kaneki died a little inside. That... Shit. It's not like it was his fault Amon was attractive! And he could be nice occasionally! And he had been good with the kids! And he kinda looked hot when fighting- Nope, not going down that path. Not in the middle of a fight... Not-

"What's this?" Shuu's sudden voice made Kaneki groan. He really didn't want to have to deal with the former gourmet... Shuu's grin was obvious as he eyed Kaneki and gasped, "My love! Why didn't you tell me you return my feelings? We-"

"It's not you, dumbass," Touka cut him off with a snarl, rolling her eyes behind her mask as she grabbed Kaneki's arm and jumped, pulling him up onto a nearby fire escape, "Now get your ass moving, those Doves aren't going to sit around and just let us chat."

Shuu's eyes flashed darkly but he did as he was told, and soon enough, the three of them were running along the roofs... It didn't take them long to find a safe alleyway to jump into, all three of them gasping for breath and taking a break as soon as they landed on their feet. Of course, as soon as he could, Shuu whirled around to face Kaneki and point a finger accusatorily, pouting and all but yelling, "Who? Who has stolen your heart? I must fight them-"

" _ Gourmet _ ," Kaneki cut him off sharply, glaring darkly at him, "Drop it."

Shuu opened his mouth, ready to argue, but was cut off by a cold voice growling, "This is a surprise..."

Kaneki tensed, recognising that voice easily. Oh no... He turned, wincing when his assumption was proven correct by the sight of Akira and Amon standing at the other end of the alleyway they were in. He couldn't help but groan, facepalming and muttering, "I just wanted to do my rounds. Why is this my luck? I can't catch a break..."

That earned him a snort from Touka, to which he glared, but before he could say anything, a ringing noise echoed throughout the alleyway... Groaning again, Kaneki grabbed his phone, only to frown at who was ringing him. That didn't seem good... He glanced at Amon and Akira, considering his options, before refocusing on Touka and telling her, "It's Cat..."

The use of the code-name they'd come up with for when referencing Blake made Touka curse under her breath. She seemed... unsure, for a moment, before sighing and stating, "Gourmet and I will hold them off. You talk to them..."

Kaneki nodded and, ignoring the guilt he felt at having to leave his friends to fight Amon and Akira alone, quickly scaled the closest fire escape, clambering up onto the roof. Akira tried to aim her quinque (some kind of whip? Which, really, was a pretty accurate weapon for her...) at him, but Shuu got in the way, protecting Kaneki... Within the minute, the half-ghoul was on the roof. He'd missed Blake's call, though, so after turning off his voice modulator, he dialled their number. They picked up after a ring, so Kaneki rushed to apologise, lying, "I'm sorry I didn't pick up! I was dealing with a customer... Is everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah... You told me to call you when the twins got hungry so you could go over how you feed them?" Blake's voice was just a little uneasy, a little concerned, and Kaneki relaxed. He had asked them to do that... Sighing, he was quick to inform them of how he fed the kids (Hiraku always refused to eat the same formula as Hinata, so he had to tell Blake which the twins would eat), and once he was done, Blake thanked him with a bright, "Alright, cheers! Sorry for distracting you from work!"

"No, no. It's alright... I'll be back in a few hours, but call again if you need to," Kaneki replied, and Blake agreed, so they both ended the call. Sighing to himself, Kaneki cracked a finger before turning his modulator back on and jumping back into the alley. Of course, it was just his luck that, as he jumped, Akira flicked her quinque... The weapon struck him, drawing an almost inaudible hiss from him, but the damage was done. Not to Kaneki, the injury was already healing, but to Shuu...

"How dare you hurt him!" Shuu yelled, eyes flashing darkly as he tried to jump at Akira. Instinctively, Kaneki moved... He was between Shuu and Akira before anyone could register what had happened, glaring at the former with barely contained anger.

"Gourmet..." he hissed, making sure to keep watch of Akira from the corner of his eye, "We don't kill Doves..."

That seemed to make Shuu pause, but it didn't stop Amon... The Dove moved quickly. He was in Kaneki's blind spot, so the teen didn't have the chance to do anything as he rushed him, quinque out and aimed for his back... The sudden pain made Kaneki gasp, back arching away from it, and that seemed to break Shuu. He snarled, low and dark and dangerous, and shoved Kaneki aside to get to Amon. The Dove didn't even have the chance to balance himself before Shuu was on him, teeth bared and eyes glinting perilously... Everything stopped for Kaneki, the world slowing for a moment before returning to normal speed. He ignored his healing back, rushing forward and grabbing Shuu's arm, yanking him away and yelling, "For fuck's sake, Gourmet! I just said we don't kill Doves!"

"He hurt you!" Shuu argued, fighting against Kaneki's grip. The half-ghoul dragged Shuu back, ignoring his protests in favour of scowling.

"I'm not dealing with you and your over-protective bullshit!" Kaneki hissed, glaring at Shuu when he finally met his eye. That made the former-gourmet wince and deflate, but he didn't have the chance to do anything else. Instead, he was cut off by a certifiably  _ pissed _ voice...

"I... You don't kill us? That's... That's bullshit!" Akira yelled, flicking her quinque towards Kaneki. Shuu instantly focused on her, ready to attack, but Kaneki distracted him hissing his name as Akira continued, "Rabbit's killed our people! She murdered my father! She-"

Touka seemed to want to argue there, but Kaneki beat her to it, shoving Shuu to her and glaring at Akira. Neither Touka nor Shuu had expected that, but Kaneki was already arguing with Akira before they could react, hissing out, "He was trying to kill a  _ child _ ! He wouldn't have stopped! Never!"

"That child is a fucking ghoul-"

"Rabbit tried to give him the chance to walk away!" Kaneki growled, his kagune flying out behind him unconsciously. Akira visibly startled at that, but Kaneki was continuing before she could say anything else, voice dark as he snarled, "She tried to let him live, but he attacked her and the kid when they were trying to leave! He wanted the kid just because he wanted a 'full set' of her family's kagunes! He was a messed-up old fool!"

"I-"

"I was there too. You haven't tried to kill me," Amon's voice made Kaneki tense. The Dove was watching him closely, voice steady as he continued, "You specifically asked me not to make you kill me..."

Kaneki had no idea how to react to that, just standing there silently... A sudden  _ crack  _ echoed through the alley, and Kaneki would have flinched if he hadn't realised that it was his own finger. He really needed to deal with that unconscious habit... It did make him speak, though, so it was okay as he forced out, "I... I don't kill..."

Amon looked like he wanted to press on that, to ask questions, but he was cut off by Touka. The ghoul had grabbed Kaneki's arm and was tugging him away, muttering something about needing to get away. Before anyone could really react, she'd dragged Kaneki down a different alley, forcing him away. But, before Akira and Amon were out of sight, Kaneki caught a glimpse of an almost... curious look on Amon's face...


	10. Of crushes and work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm so sorry this took so long to get out. Between starting school up again last month (and damn, it does not feel like over a month), being really tired a lot (I have a twelve hour school day, from when I get up to when I get home), and writer's block as a result of being so tired, I've been really struggling. I am trying though! But updates will probably continue to be pretty slow... I really am sorry. I hope you like what I managed to do though!

It took a while, but eventually the trio got back to Anteiku. Of course, when they arrived they were greeted by Yoshimura, who raised an unimpressed eyebrow at the blood staining Kaneki, but didn't press. Instead, he let Kaneki use his shower and change before telling him to meet in the living room... 

Once Kaneki was ready, he went there, only to pause at what he saw. Shuu was sat off to the side, pouting and grumbling to himself whilst fiddling with that handkerchief he had with a drop of Kaneki's blood, and next to him was a visibly displeased Hinami. Next to her sat Touka, who looked torn between annoyance and some sort of pride... And opposite them all sat Yoshimura, who met Kaneki's eye and gestured for him to sit down. The teen did so cautiously, eyeing his friends with slight concern until his attention was stolen by Yoshimura stating, "Touka says you may have feelings for Investigator Amon."

"I... I don't!" Kaneki argued, blushing brightly "I just... He's good with the twins! And... And we talked the other day, when he visited my neighbour, and he was really nice to me! And... And he's kinda good-looking... But that's it! I don't-"

"It's quite alright, Kaneki. You don't need to explain yourself... You just need to promise you'll be careful. If he found out who you are, what we do here... We'd all be in danger..." Yoshimura cut Kaneki's rambling off easily, smiling softly as he did. Kaneki... couldn't quite believe it. He'd expected Yoshimura to be angry... He-

"Why, my love? Why him?" Shuu cried suddenly, making Kaneki flinch violently. Of course, that concerned everyone else, but Kaneki played it off with a shaky smile and a blush...

"I... It's not like it's my fault he happens to be my type..." the half-ghoul muttered, shrugging and shrinking in on himself. No one seemed to know what to say to that, Shuu still seethingly silently, Yoshimura looking vaguely amused, Touka still torn and Hinami almost scared, but eventually the silence that had fallen had to be shattered. And that came in the form of Nishio knocking on the door and walking in without waiting for a response.

"Those four Doves are here again," he sighed, rolling his eyes and tucking his hands in his pockets, "And it's the end of my shift, so..."

Kaneki couldn't help but pale at that. He wasn't ready to deal with any of them, not so soon after fighting them... He... He couldn't just act normally around them yet-

"Touka and Kaneki will take the next shift," Yoshimura stated, sending Kaneki a firm look. The teen's discomfort must have been palpable, since Yoshimura softened and murmured, "It's completely normal to have feelings, Kaneki. It's not your fault your heart has decided you want the enemy..."

Kaneki just groaned, hiding his face in his hands and grumbling something about, "It's still annoying..."

That earned him a chuckle from Yoshimura, who rolled his eyes but insisted Kaneki worked...

So that's how the teen found himself walking over to the booth Akira, Amon, Suzuya and Shinohara were seated in twenty minutes later, having taken just enough time to change into his uniform and text Yomo a list of the shopping he'd been planning on doing after work (he knew he wouldn't have had the time to go after his sudden shift). Forcing himself to smile, he greeted the group with a quiet, "Hello, what can I get you today?"

"I... What?" Akira asked, her tone full of mirth as she raised an eyebrow at Kaneki, "I... You know you don't need to pretend to be so polite with us, right?"

"You know I'm working, right?" Kaneki couldn't help but sass, rolling his eyes and smiling just the tiniest bit. That earned him a quiet snort from Akira, who was quick to list off what she wanted (a salted caramel latte and a red velvet cupcake) before he focused on the rest of the group and quietly asked, "What would the rest of you like?"

"To know when you're next free to drink. Cause I really,  _ really _ need to rant," Suzuya stated before anyone else could reply, smirking and raising an eyebrow. For a second, Kaneki flashed back to earlier that day, when Suzuya's usually kinda kind (if a little crazy) attitude was replaced with that of a murderer... He ignored his feelings, though, in favour of rolling his eyes and replying.

"Um... I'm free Friday?" he shrugged, double-checking internally before nodding. That earned him a bright grin from Suzuya, who started to babble away about something random. Before he could start talking too much, though, Kaneki cut him off with a quiet, "But seriously, what would you like to order?"

"I'll have an espress-"

"He'll have whatever has the least amount of caffeine in it and an apple," Shinohara cut Suzuya off, smiling slightly and raising a challenging eyebrow at the teen. It made Suzuya pout, but he didn't bother arguing, so Shinohara smiled and quietly asked, "And may I have a plain black coffee with a slice of chocolate cake?"

"Of course. And for you, Amon-san?" Kaneki replied before focusing on Amon, who was watching him closely. The older man's attention made Kaneki fluster slightly, the conversation he'd had just twenty minutes before floating in his head, but he ignored that in favour of smiling slightly. Amon seemed to consider it for a moment before responding.

"I'll take an iced caramel latte and a banana, please," he stated, and Kaneki agreed before heading back to the counter. Touka was already there and prepping Shinohara's coffee, smirking as she eyed Kaneki. They both remained silent as they worked, but just before Kaneki went to take the group their orders, Touka stopped him, grabbing his arm and speaking quietly.

"Don't forget to give Amon your number..." she teased, her smirk growing when Kaneki blushed brightly. He spluttered, earning himself a laugh as Touka gently shoved him towards the group, before actually walking over. Of course, it was just his luck that the quartet in the booth were discussing what had happened earlier that day...

"What did he mean? When he said he doesn't kill?" Suzuya asked, leaning forward and watching Amon closely. The older man shrugged, muttering something about 'Eyepatch' apparently having never killed anyone. That didn't seem to be enough to satiate Suzuya, since he rolled his eyes and pressed, insisting, "But why not? He's a ghoul! Killing people is what they do! I- Oh, Kaneki! Hi!"

As soon as he registered Kaneki's presence, Suzuya changed his tune, grinning at the half-ghoul, who was visibly uncomfortable. Suzuya didn't seem to pick up on that, though, instead grinning and reaching out for his food. It took Kaneki a second to get himself under control, but he was quickly able to smile slightly and hand out the food and drinks as he greeted the group with a quiet, "Hello... Suzuya, I made you a green tea, as Shinohara-san asked for the least caffeinated drink I could get you. Technically, our decaff has less caffeine, but you mentioned that you hate decaff, so..."

For a second, Suzuya seemed surprised as he examined his tea, but he was quick to grin at Kaneki, tilting his head to the side and exclaiming, "You remembered! We had that chat, like, just after I moved in!"

"I mean... There is a reason I know not to make you decaff when you visit..." Kaneki replied, shrugging. That just earned him an even brighter grin from Suzuya (which, really, was fucking with his perception of the older teen. Like, he'd seen Suzuya ready to kill him just earlier that day, what the fuck?), but they were both quickly distracted by a teasing voice...

"Do you two have... visits often?" Akira asked, smirking, and Kaneki rolled his eyes. Not this again... Sighing, he muttered something about Suzuya being straight as the other teen did the exact same. It made Kaneki pause, blinking in surprise, but he was kept from asking what Suzuya meant by Akira, who had burst into quiet laughter. She took a moment to calm down, only to fix Suzuya with a smirk and tease, "You think Kaneki's straight?"

"He's not?" Suzuya gasped, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. It amazed Kaneki that Suzuya didn't know... Chuckling slightly, the half-ghoul piped up.

"Suzuya... I have a pansexual pride flag in my living room, an entire shelf dedicated to LGBT literature, and pictures on my walls from Pride..." he stated, earning himself a surprised noise from Suzuya. For a second, the older teen seemed nothing short of flabbergasted, and it made Kaneki hesitate. The longer it took Suzuya to respond, the more Kaneki's anxiety grew... Of course, the older teen eventually grinned and spoke up.

"Awesome! Good to know I'm not the only local queer!" he exclaimed, and Kaneki blinked in surprise. He... What? Suzuya was...? The red-eyed teen seemed to read Kaneki's confusion, shrugging and stating, "I'm aroace."

That made... That made sense, Kaneki realised, smiling slightly and murmuring, "Really? That's cool..."

"Damn, that means I can't try to set you two up..." Akira muttered, and Kaneki sighed. He knew he said Akira could set him up with someone, but he was already regretting it... She didn't seem to notice that, though, as she changed the subject by asking, "Anyway, Kaneki, what's your opinion on ghouls not killing? Like, refusing to?"

For a moment, the half-ghoul had no idea how to respond. There was very much a limit as to what he could say without incriminating himself... After considering his options, he shrugged and bit his lip, forcing out a quiet, "Um... It's good, isn't it? It means less people will die, doesn't it?"

"Maybe, if you want to look at it like that... But it's also weird, you know? I mean, ghouls kill! It's what they do! So why would he refuse to do it?" Akira responded, seemingly distressed, and Kaneki felt something inside him ache for her. He knew who she was talking about, even if she didn't quite realise it herself... He didn't get the chance to dwell on that, though, since he was distracted by the door to the back of the cafe opening suddenly... It set him on edge, prompting him to reach for his knife, but he relaxed when he saw that it was just Shuu. Well,  _ relaxed _ may be an overstatement, but he wasn't ready to fight, so... Instead, he sighed, unconsciously cracking a finger as the former gourmet rushed over.

"My love!" Shuu greeted, beaming as he stopped next to Kaneki, "I just wished to ask if you are free to have dinner after your shift? Blake should be looking after the children until later, no?"

It took everything in Kaneki to fight against his instinct to sigh, instead forcing himself to smile slightly and reply with a soft, "Sorry, Shuu, but I have training with Yomo after work, then I need to head home..."

That made the older man pout, visibly displeased, but he was stopped from talking by a curious voice asking, "Who's this Kaneki? Your boyfriend?"

This time, Kaneki couldn't suppress his sigh as he fixed Akira with a tired stare. It didn't do anything to dissuade her smirk, so he sighed again and replied with a monotone, "No, Shuu isn't my boyfriend. He's just a friend."

"Does he know that?" Akira retorted, glancing at Shuu before refocusing on Kaneki. It prompted the teen to look at his ghoul friend to, his heart squeezing a little when he realised how sad Shuu looked... Despite everything, Kaneki didn't want to hurt Shuu. But he was kinda limited on what he could do, what with the older ghoul supposedly being in love with him... Kaneki sighed again, hesitating, before forcing himself to reply.

"Yes, he knows that," he stated, sending Shuu an apologetic smile. The taller man pouted before shrugging and leaving with a mutter of seeing Kaneki some other time. It made the teen feel guilty, but he couldn't help it... Sighing for the millionth time, he refocused on Akira, but was cut off before he could say anything.

"What did you mean by training?" Amon asked suddenly, stealing Kaneki's attention. His gaze was firm on the ghoul, eyes dark but interested, and it made the teen blush... Kaneki ignored his feelings, though, and shrugged before reciting the lie he'd had drilled into him.

"Yoshimura, our boss, worries about all of his staff a lot. Since we're in a, uh... violent, I guess, area, and we've had to deal with some... dangerous customers, Yoshimura-sama has made sure we all get hand-to-hand combat training with Yomo, his adopted son..." he stated, smiling slightly and cupping his chin. Unfortunately, his little tell made Akira frown, visibly ready to ask what he was hiding, but she was stopped by a purposefully bored voice...

"Dangerous customers, huh? You mean like the ones that kidnapped you last month?"


	11. Uh oh...

Kaneki flinched at Amon's words, so violently that it startled everyone at the booth. He was quick to sort himself out, however, and plaster on a fake smile. Unfortunately, it wasn't quick enough...

"I... Wait, were you kidnapped? Is... Is that why you weren't at home for a while? You... You said you'd been staying at a friend's to dogsit! But... But you were kidnapped? I... Kaneki, what-"

Kaneki cut Suzuya off as quickly as he could, forcing a smile as he stuttered out a shakey, "I... Am... Amon-san must... must have gotten me confused with some...someone else..."

There was an awkward moment of silence, but it was shattered soon enough... Amon sighed, eyes focused directly on Kaneki, who was busy fiddling with his fingers, before stating, "I'm not wrong, Kaneki-kun. You were reported missing, kidnapped from here on the 7th of December, only to suddenly reappear on the 21st. The day after ghouls such as Rabbit and her friends attacked the base of the ghoul Jason, which happened at the same as a CCG raid on the same place... And, according to our lab people, your blood was found in one of the rooms, along with three more people's blood that they couldn't identify..."

Kaneki's heart stopped. He... Shit. Fuck. Holy fucking  _ shit _ . He... They had proof that he'd been at Jason's and they were going to kill him and- Fuck. A memory of Jason flashed to the fore-front of Kaneki's mind, stealing a strangled whimper from him as his legs started to tremble. Jason was... He... There was so much blood and pain and counting-

"Kaneki..." Touka's voice, surprisingly soft for once, was suddenly next to Kaneki, making him flinch before she whispered soothingly, "Hey, hey, it's okay... You're safe now, okay? He... He can't get to you... You're at Anteiku, okay? I've got you..."

Kaneki couldn't fight the pained noise that clawed its way out of his throat, terrified and weak as his legs thoughtlessly carried him over to the booth next to the group's. He collapsed into it, paying Touka no mind as she continued to speak softly to him, murmuring, "C'mon, Kaneki. It's okay. You're safe. He can't get you. I-"

Her quiet reassurances were silenced by a distressed whimper as Kaneki pulled his legs into his chest, curling in on himself. He... There was so much blood- It... It hurt so much- He... The  _ counting _ \- He-

"One... One hundred..." Kaneki found himself murmuring as Anteiku melted away, quickly replaced by crimson-splattered white and black checkers as Touka's concerned voice was substituted by Jason's tormenting snarl and the quiet of the cafe was swapped with the deafening silence of that room... Jason teased and hissed, breaking and tearing and cutting-

"Kaneki!" Touka tried to catch his attention, raising her voice just slightly, but it had the opposite effect to what she wanted. Instead of helping, it made Kaneki flinch away with a whimper.

"I... I'm sorry... I... I'll restart. P... Please don't hurt me..." he stuttered out, curling in on himself. It... A dark, evil laugh danced through his ears, suffocating him as he tried to fight it, tried to get away, tried to escape-

"Kaneki, c'mon. You're safe..." Touka murmured, trying to calm the panicking half-ghoul, but he paid her no mind...

** The stench of blood, thick and cloying. The sight of ruby on ebony and ivory, contrasting and bright. Jason, dangerous and terrifying- Kouto and Kei, lying on the floor, their blood seeping together and flooding the room. The pain. Kaneki's own toes and fingers, lined up on a silver platter like some sort of fucked up meal- **

Kaneki came back to with a gasp, shivering and panting. It startled Touka, who had moved so she was kneeling next to him at some point, but he didn't pay her any attention. Instead, he curled in on himself, leaning his head until it was between his knees, and remaining there for a while... Eventually, though, he was able to pull himself together enough to sit upright again. As soon as she realised that Kaneki was not in the middle of a panic attack anymore, Touka smiled at him and murmured, "How are you?"

He didn't say anything, just groaned and let his head fall onto the table next to him. Now that the fog was clearing, he was starting to freak out about how the four Doves now knew he'd been kidnapped. By Jason. Meaning they'd ask questions... Kaneki sighed, a shakey, scared thing, before clearing his throat and lifting his head and forcing out, "I... I'm sorry about that, I... I had a panic attack as a result of remembering what happened. You may ask any questions you have now."

"I... Wait, you were really..." Akira trailed off, her eyes wide and spooked. Kaneki hesitated at that, the nonchalant facade he'd been trying to force on faltering, but he managed to nod. It just made something akin to anger flicker behind Akira's eyes as she moved, sitting in the booth opposite Kaneki and murmuring, "I... What happened?"

For a moment, Kaneki hesitated, but he managed to eventually stutter out, "I... After I was attacked by the binge eating ghoul, I... The doctor didn't know she was a ghoul, and... And he gave me her kidney, so... So apparently, according to ghouls, I... I smell like her..."

He hesitated there, his silence prompting Akira to hold a hand out to him, comforting but not pressuring. Kaneki continued to hesitate for a long moment, but he eventually grasped her hand, squeezing it and forcing out, "Jason wanted her, and I was the next best thing, so he took me instead. And... Well, he... He tried to make me tell him where she is, and did... didn't believe me when I said she was dead... And... And I wasn't the only... only person he had. He... He'd also kidnapped a ghoul... The... The ghoul said his name was Eyepatch..." the mention of Kaneki's alter-ego made all of the Doves tense up, but Kaneki pretended he didn't notice, keeping his eyes trained on his lap as he continued, "And... Well, Jason... He... He... He hurt us both. A... A lot... Until Eyepatch's friends -Rabbit and that lot, I think you said- saved us. They... Well, when they found us, they wanted to leave me for the CCG to find -something about me being a risk if I could identify them?- but Eyepatch... He got them to save me too, said something about how the CCG would probably kill me without even trying to see if I was a ghoul or not... They... They took me somewhere to stay overnight -I... I don't know where, exactly. I passed out on the way and they dropped me off at home the next day, but I was blindfolded- and then I just... I returned to normal, I guess..."

For a long moment, no one spoke. They were either too busy trying to consider what Kaneki had said, or trying not to freak out about potentially being caught up in their own lie... Eventually, though, Akira managed to whisper, "I... Why didn't you go to someone?"

"What would I do, Akira? What would I  _ say _ ? I... No one would believe me, and they'd send me to the CCG and they'd kill me without a trial and-"

"I wouldn't let that happen-"

"You wouldn't be able to do anything!" Kaneki cut Akira off, standing suddenly and pacing, running a hand through his hair, "I... People don't believe people like me about these kinda things! They... They never listen! They never care! I... They just don't listen and they leave you to suffer and they don't-"

He cut himself off, still pacing but now also hitting his thighs in tandem to each step. A distressed noise crawled out of his throat, strangled and torn, as his anxiety began to climb again. A hint of purple danced along the edge of his vision, followed by a sharp grin and dark eyes, and he started to alternate between slapping his thighs and biting at his wrist. Of course, that managed to spur Akira into action, prompting her to stand quickly and rush over to him. She reached out carefully, making sure not to get too close whilst still being close enough that she could grasp Kaneki's arms to stop him. However, instead of calming him down, it just earned her another troubled noise as he tried to fight her off, shaking and murmuring, "Don't... Don't just... I need to-"

"You're hurting yourself-"

"Akira, I was fucking  _ tortured _ ! I don't think this is much compared to that!" Kaneki all but snarled, yanking his arms away and returning to his pacing, slapping and biting. Of course, it took him a few moments to register what he'd actually said. But the damage was already done... Akira gasped, her eyes wide and face pale as she watched Kaneki, and her reaction was pretty much mirrored by everyone in the cafe except Touka, who had already stepped forward to quietly speak to Kaneki.

"You're okay, Kaneki, you're safe-"

"I'm never going to be safe, Touka! Not if he's still alive!" Kaneki hissed, biting his wrist so hard it almost broke the skin. It made Touka flinch, but he honestly didn't care for once, using his left hand to beat a rhythm onto his thigh and biting at his right wrist whilst still pacing restlessly. He... He couldn't be safe, not if Jason was still out there, not if there was a chance he'd come back or hurt him or-

"Jason's dead, Kaneki," Suzuya spoke up, his voice surprisingly solemn and honest. It surprised Kaneki enough that his pacing slowed, although his kept knawing at his wrist and slapping his thigh. However, before he could speak, Suzuya stepped closer and stated, "I killed him. He was in bad shape when I arrived anyway, but I killed him. He can't hurt you."

For a moment, Kaneki hesitated, disbelieving, but Suzuya repeated himself one more time, and Kaneki found himself whispering against his wrist, "I... He's really dead?"

Suzuya nodded, and Kaneki just collapsed into the booth he had ended up next to, shakey legs barely able to hold him up. He... Jason was dead. He couldn't hurt him anymore... He... He was  _ dead  _ and that meant Kaneki was  _ safe  _ and he was  _ okay _ and-

"I... He tortured you?" Akira breathed, soft and scared and broken, suddenly kneeling next to Kaneki and watching him closely. It made his stiffen, instantly tense and ready to fight, but he was stopped from reacting by Touka, who's voice was dark and low when she spoke up.

"I don't think he wants to talk about that..." she hissed, glaring at Akira. The older woman glared back, seemingly ready to argue, but Kaneki was quick to defuse the situation, his voice shaking a little as he spoke up.

"Calm down, you two..." he muttered, rubbing his forehead tiredly. He just wanted to go home and nap... Instead of doing that, he sighed and grumbled, "I don't get why you two are so angry..."

"You looked freaked out," Touka stated like it was as simple as that, and Kaneki couldn't help but sigh again. He did not understand why she'd become so protective recently... Instead of saying anything, though, he smiled slightly, thankfully at her before focusing on Akira and shrugging. She seemed to hesitate before sighing and murmuring.

"I... Sorry, Kaneki. I just... I'm worried about you, you know? I mean, you suddenly cut off contact a while back, now it turns out you were kidnapped and tortured because you smell like a ghoul? I just... You've been through so much and you deserve better..." Akira stated, frowning and leaning against the booth table. Kaneki couldn't fight the scoff that clawed its way out of him, earning himself a deep frown from Akira as she muttered, "Kaneki, you do deserve better. You-"

"Akira..." Kaneki cut her off tiredly, sighing and letting his head fall back onto the table, "I'm really,  _ really _ not in the mood to talk about this right now..."

Akira seemed to hesitate for a moment before murmuring something about letting it go, for now, reaching out and carding a hand through Kaneki's hair. That drew an unintentionally pleased noise from the half-ghoul, who just shut his eyes and felt himself relax (despite how his brain was screaming that he was surrounded by the enemies...). It had been so long since he'd let anyone other than Hide or his kids touch him more than absolutely necessary... He didn't need to say a word for Akira to understand that, since she continued to pet his hair as she quietly murmured, "You know, you technically need to talk to the CCG-"

"No!" Kaneki was instantly sat upright, shaking his head violently, "I... You... They won't believe me! Then they'll hurt me or kill me or-"

"I won't-"

"You don't need to tell them anything until you are ready, but we do need you to tell us everything you remember when you can. Any information could be useful, especially to take down Aogiri Tree..." Amon suddenly spoke up, stealing Kaneki's attention. For a long moment, the teen hesitated, eyeing Amon with barely concealed distrust, but he was quickly distracted...

"Amon-san's right!" Suzuya pipped up, moving so he could lean next to Akira, "Like, we  _ technically _ could use any info you can give us, but we don't necessarily need to tell the higher-ups where we got the info until you feel comfortable! Until then, we can say its an an... anony... fucking... anonymous source! There! I got it in the end!"

Kaneki continued to hesitate, visibly unsure, until Shinohara sighed and spoke for the first time since the reveal, stating, "We won't make you talk to the higher-ups, but we could really do with any information you can give us..."

For a few more moments, Kaneki didn't say anything, just eyed the Doves with barely concealed distrust, but eventually, he forced out, "I... You... It... I can't just... It..."

His flailing seemed to concern Akira more than it should have, causing her to frown deeply as she murmured, "It's okay, Kaneki. I... You don't need to tell us everything, okay? Hell, you don't need to tell us  _ anything _ until you're ready, okay?"

Kaneki couldn't trust her, though. Sure, they'd known each other for years and they'd been through loads of stuff together and they'd been friends for ages, but... But she was his enemy now. It was easier for him to have a crush on Amon than it was for him to talk to literally anyone about what he'd been through! Especially not Akira, who he'd always done his best to protect, to keep from knowing about some of the things he'd been through, who he had never wanted to be hurt by him or his secrets-

"I... Akira, I... It..." Kaneki tried to force himself to speak, but ended up just releasing a small, annoyed noise at his own inability to voice his thoughts. He hated that he struggled so much with it, that he couldn't just  _ talk _ , that he was so fucking useless-

"Don't force yourself, Ken..." Akira whispered, seemingly not realising her slip up as she tried to reach out to Kaneki. However, at the use of his given name, he flinched away, cowering in on himself slightly... It made Akira's frown deep even further, but she seemed to realise what she'd done, her eyes widening as she quickly forced out, "I... Shit, Kaneki. I'm sorry-"

"It's fine," Kaneki lied, not wanting to draw any attention to exactly  _ why _ he'd flinched. Akira visibly didn't believe him, but she didn't argue, instead silently holding her hand out again. For a moment, Kaneki hesitated, just eyeing the offered hand cautiously, but he was quick to break and take the hand, squeezing it and letting his head fall onto the table again. Almost instantly, Akira's freehand found its way into his hair as she spoke quietly.

"It's okay, Kaneki..." she practically breathed, scratching a spot near the back of his ear that she knew relaxed him. It earned her a small hum as Kaneki pretty much melted, sighing and letting his eyes close. He knew he shouldn't relax around her, that she could easily kill him and he wouldn't stop her, but he couldn't help it. It had been so long... Akira seemed to understand, though, and just continued to pet Kaneki as she quietly asked, "Do you need your boss to let you go home early?"

"I've already missed too much work because of the kids, I should really continue my shift... And I'll still need to do my training afterwards, anyway. I've been slacking..." Kaneki replied, his voice audibly exhausted. Akira tried to argue, but she was stopped by Yoshimura himself speaking up, having snuck in without anyone noticing...

"You don't need to push yourself, Kaneki..." he stated, startling the half-ghoul so much he reactively reached for his knife as he flew up from his slouch. That made Akira jump, especially when she caught a glimpse of the knife, but as soon as Kaneki relaxed and smiled slightly at his boss, she chilled out.

"I... Boss, I-"

"Yomo will insist that you take part in training, but until then, you can just relax. Either out here with your friends, or you can go to the back..." Yoshimura cut Kaneki's argument off, smiling serenely. For a moment, Kaneki hesitated, but he eventually sighed and replied.

"I... Alright..." he stated, putting his knife away and running a hand through his hair, "Just... Is it okay if I go read with Hinami?"

"Of course," Yoshimura replied, smiling still as he moved behind the counter, "Would you like a coffee for the road?"

Again, Kaneki hesitated, but he didn't take long to nod. That made Yoshimura smile as he silently started to make Kaneki a coffee, but the teen was quickly distracted...

"Kaneki-kun, I... I apologise. For bringing what you went through up..." Amon's voice was soft and a little awkward as he watched Kaneki closely. It made the half-ghoul pause, visibly surprised, but he was quick to recover and mutter something about it being fine. Amon clearly didn't believe him, but he didn't press, preferring to clear his throat and state, "Anyway, we have work to do, so we need to get going. We'll see you around, Kaneki-kun..."

Kaneki just smiled and nodded, watching the four Doves leave (only after Akira made sure to pull him in for a gentle, reassuring hug) until he was distracted by Yoshimura saying his coffee was done. he was quick to grab the drink and thank his boss before heading to the back. He knew Hinami would ask questions, but he could probably distract her by showing her the new book he'd gotten recently...


	12. Of sparring, knives and surprise visitors...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get the feeling apologising for taking so long to update is gonna be a theme, at this point... But I am sorry for taking so long. I've had a lot going on, so I've been too busy to write. I hope you enjoy what I was able to pump out though? Have fun!

A few hours later, Kaneki found himself gasping as Yomo pinned him to the floor. The older man kept him there for a few seconds, only letting up when Kaneki failed to get him off, before rolling to the side with a sigh. Kaneki felt something in him burn with shame, well aware of the fact that he couldn't fight, he was useless, he was a weak link-

"You know, Kaneki carries a knife..." Touka said suddenly, finishing the stretches she had been working on. It startled Kaneki, who instantly tensed, but she continued before he could argue, asking, "Do you even know how to use a knife effectively?"

For a moment, Kaneki hesitated, but he eventually sat up with a sigh and a nod. Touka and Yomo didn't seem to believe him, so he sighed again and went to grab his knife from where he'd stored it with his bag and clothes. He paused, glancing at them over his shoulder, before sighing again and taking out his knife, turning around so he could show them it. It was a pretty simple switchblade, with a black handle and a basic silver blade, but Kaneki kinda loved it. It was one of the few things he had to remember his dad by, other than his books... Yomo and Touka didn't seem impressed by the sight of the blade, so Kaneki sighed and walked over to one of the dummies they had for practice. He hesitated again but didn't take long to open the knife and start on a basic routine with it. As much as he struggled with hand-to-hand combat, he was surprisingly good with his blade... Although, that could be because he'd literally been using it since he was five or six. Maybe, just maybe... He showed off for a few minutes before eventually coming to a stop, panting slightly and surprisingly pleased with himself. It was fun, working out like that, and it was good to show off for once... Once he was done, he turned back to his friends, shrugging slightly under their surprised and murmuring, "I... My mom started teaching me to use it when I was younger, and... And I kept training, even after she died..."

"That's... pretty cool, actually," Touka said, walking over and examining the blade for a moment. Kaneki shrugged, flipping the blade effortlessly as he spoke quietly.

"I... Um... It's nothing, really. I... I still can't fight properly..." he stuttered out, ignoring how he felt a sting of worthlessness at his own words. That just seemed to make Touka upset, since she frowned and looked ready to argue, but she was cut off before she had the chance to say anything at all...

"Knife skills are good for fighting, too," Yomo stated, eyeing Kaneki critically, "Why didn't you say you knew how to use a knife?"

"I mean, it's not really useful for the kind of fighting we usually do..." Kaneki replied, shrugging. Yomo hummed at that, still watching Kaneki, and he felt his skin crawl. His reminder of everything that had with Jason earlier had thrown him off, and he felt even more uncomfortable than usual... Yomo hummed again before speaking up.

"You can still use what you know to improve in other areas..." he muttered before gesturing for Kaneki to get ready for another fight. The half-ghoul in question went to put his knife away, but Yomo stopped him with a firm, "Use your knife against me."

For a second, Kaneki hesitated. He knew his knife would do nothing against Yomo, not really, but he still didn't want to use it against his friend... Yomo seemed to pick up on that, ordering Kaneki to just trust him, so the teen sighed and nodded, getting into position for a fight. That earned him a pleased nod from Yomo, just before the older man swiped at him. Unlike usual, Kaneki was able to hold his own surprisingly well. He did rely on dodging, as per usual, but he was able to get a couple of hits in, the presence of his blade in his hand giving him the confidence he usually lacked in a fight... However, it still didn't take Yomo long to beat him. Still, it took longer than usual, which earned Kaneki a rare, genuinely pleased smile as Yomo helped him to his feet with a quiet, "Good job."

"I... It really wasn't-"

"That was definitely an improvement," Touka cut in, watching closely from her seat on the floor near their bags. Kaneki shook his head, ready to keep arguing, when he was once again cut off, this time by Yomo.

"It was," he stated, not letting Kaneki belittle himself at all as he gripped the half-ghoul's shoulder in what was probably supposed to be a friendly manner. Kaneki didn't quite believe him, but he didn't say anything, instead suggesting they went again. Yomo rolled his eyes at the obvious subject change, but agreed easily. They both dropped into fighting stances as Touka watched, analysing Kaneki carefully...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

A little while later, Kaneki sighed as he took a breather. Touka and Yomo were sparring, which gave Kaneki a chance to relax. Yomo had decided to drill him on his knife skills, insisting he used it every fight, and there had been a marked improvement, even Kaneki had to admit. Still. He knew for a fact that he was just as useless as always, that he was the weak link, that he was a _fucking waste of space-_

His phone ringing distracted Kaneki, and caught Yomo and Touka's attention. The way it shattered the silence made Kaneki's heart thump, but the ID of the caller was what truly concerned him...

"I... Hello, Blake. Is everything alright?" he asked quietly, the name-drop making Touka look at him instantly. He shrugged at her concerned look, listening closely when Blake replied.

"Of course! I just... There's a man at your front door? And he doesn't seem like he's going anywhere any time soon..." Blake explained, a hint of confusion and concern in their voice. That made Kaneki's frown deepen, and he was quick to ask Blake to describe the man. They hesitated before murmuring, "Um... He kinda looks almost identical to you? Like what you'd look like if your eyepatch was on the other side and if your hair was white with black roots? Almost like he's your twin or something...?"

That final sentence made Kaneki freeze. That... That was impossible. He... The only person that could be was- He was- He died-

"I... Um, can you ask him what his name is?" Kaneki forced out, ignoring how his heart was thumping in his chest. There were a few seconds of quiet conversation, but then Blake replied with something that made Kaneki's heart actually stop...

"Um... He claims he's your brother, Haise?"


	13. Of brothers and worry...

Kaneki couldn't help but wheeze, the sound forced out of him and kind of pained. That was... That was literally impossible. That couldn't be. He-

"Um... Haise says he wants to talk to you?" Blake's nervous voice distracted Kaneki from his internal freak-out session. He took a deep, long breath before asking Blake to pass the phone to 'Haise'. The other person did after only a moment of hesitation, and Kaneki was soon hearing a very familiar voice...

"I... Hey, Ken..." 'Haise' said, audibly awkward. It startled Kaneki, to hear a voice so similar to his own after so long... It also pissed him off, and rightfully so. He... Haise was supposed to be dead! Kaneki had thought he was dead for so long, he'd grieved, he'd fucking mourned-

"Sasaki Haise, I swear to fucking God, if you're actually alive, I will fucking  _ murder you _ , you fucking piece of shit..." Kaneki found himself growling, shaking with barely concealed rage. That caught Touka and Yomo's attention, but he didn't pay them any mind, instead starting to pace and slapping his thigh in tandem with each step. He couldn't... If it was actually Haise, that meant that... Haise was-

"I... Um... I'm sorry?" Haise forced out, audibly concerned, and Kaneki could just picture how he was biting his lip awkwardly, "I... Can we meet up? I... I think I need to explain myself..."

Kaneki hesitated, glancing at Touka and Yomo, unsure what to say (they didn't know he had a brother! He'd never said anything because it fucking hurt. The only person he'd told at Anteiku was Nishio, and that was only after he'd told him about his sister), before sighing and murmuring, "...I guess... But! We are meeting at a cafe I know."

"That works!" Haise replied, obviously happy to even have gotten that far, only to suddenly deflate as he sighed, "Oh, crap. I have to meet with a guy I know in twenty. I don't have time to meet with you..."

Kaneki almost scoffed at that coincidence, but stopped himself and instead said, "...Get my number off Blake, then contact me when you're free. But don't think that I'm not  _ pissed _ at you. I... I... We'll discuss this properly later."

"Of course!" Haise agreed, murmuring a quick goodbye before ending the call. Kaneki pulled his phone away from his ear and stared at it for a few long moments before groaning, dropping it onto his bag and running his hands through his hair. He... He didn't know what to do! It's not every day your supposedly dead brother suddenly reappears! He... What was he going to do? Would... Would Haise really call him? What if it wasn't actually him, just someone fucking with Kaneki? What if-

"Um... What the fuck are you freaking out about?" Touka suddenly pipped up, and Kaneki flinched violently. That made her startle too, but Kaneki was quick to pull himself together with a shaky. He did take a minute to pause, unsure what he could say, before sighing and starting to pace, grabbing his knife as he did...

"I... That... Someone claiming to be my dead twin brother appeared at my place..." he forced out, flipping his knife over his hand and slapping his thigh again. That earned him a bewildered noise from Touka. However, rather than letting her speak, Kaneki continued quickly, heart hammering as he stuttered, "I... I don't know what to do. He... Haise... He... He died years ago then he suddenly reappears? And... And he's too busy to actually talk to me? And... And what am I supposed to  _ do _ ? I... He's... I'm... I-"

"Breathe, Kaneki..." Yomo ordered, suddenly by the half-ghoul's side. Kaneki couldn't fight the noise that crawled up his throat, scared and torn and lost, but did his best to follow Yomo's instructions. The older ghoul continued to speak quietly, telling Kaneki exactly what to do, and eventually Kaneki was able to calm down. As soon as he did, though, he collapsed onto the floor next to the bags. So much had happened, and he was exhausted and-

"Why the fuck have you never mentioned having a brother?" Touka's sudden voice surprised Kaneki, making him drop his knife. The blade fell straight down, digging into Kaneki's thigh. However, he barely reacted to it, just tugged it from his leg as he sighed. The lack of actual response to the wound made Touka frown, but Kaneki speaking distracted her...

"I... I thought he was dead, Touka..." the half-ghoul whispered, eyes hollow and darker than Yomo or Touka had ever seen, something that made them both shudder despite themselves, "I... He...  _ Fuck _ ... I... I need a fucking drink if I'm telling you guys this..."

"No alcohol," Yomo said instantly, without a thought, which startled a small chuckle out of Kaneki. He shook his head, well aware that he wasn't actually going to have  _ that _ kind of drink, before quietly suggesting they showered and changed then went back to Anteiku. The other two hesitated, but they agreed eventually, and soon enough they were all back in Anteiku. Nishio raised an eyebrow at the sight of them, only to frown when he saw how despondent Kaneki was... He didn't get to ask Kaneki any questions, though, since the half-ghoul slipped into a booth with Touka opposite him whilst Yomo went to get them drinks. Kaneki couldn't hear what was being said at the counter, but he didn't care, too drained to. He... He could barely believe it. Actually, he  _ couldn't _ believe it. Haise was... Haise had been gone for so long and then he suddenly turned out to be alive and-

"So... You gonna tell us now or what?" Touka asked when Yomo returned to the booth with their drinks. For a moment, as Yomo got settled, Kaneki hesitated. He... He'd been through a lot, more than his friends knew, and he didn't want them to hate him for keeping secrets... But he knew he had to tell them. So, instead of putting it off any longer, he took a sip of his coffee and began to tell a tale...


	14. The past never stays that way...

"I... First of all, Kaneki Ken wasn't the name I was given at birth," Kaneki started, earning a pissed-off noise from Touka as he stared at his coffee, "I... It was Sasaki Ken. But... I started to go by my mother's maiden, Kaneki, when I was ten. I... Well... I had -have, it seems- a twin called Haise. We... we were always pretty close, growing up... But when we were seven, we were... I... I..."

Kaneki's breathing picked up as he remembered what he'd tried to ignore for so long, the memories clawing for attention, harsh and scary and  _ so damn painful _ \- But he shoved them down, forcing himself to shut down and whisper, "When we were seven years old, we were kidnapped by gourmet ghouls."

"I... What the fuck-"

"I... I was rescued three years later, but during our time there... During our time there, we were both forced to fight in the arena. Me, more than Haise, because I kept volunteering to go in his place. I didn't want him to get hurt..." Kaneki murmured, ignoring Touka's anger and Yomo's confusion in favour of retelling what had happened to him and Haise... He sighed, taking a long sip of his coffee before continuing, "One time, though, I was too injured from a previous fight to go out. So... They took Haise instead. And... And he lost. That... When they took him out of the arena after his fight, that was the last time I saw him. I... I thought that he'd died, that I'd failed to protect him, that those  _ fuckers _ had murdered him... But it seems like I was wrong."

For a long moment, silence lingered, Yomo and Touka unsure how to handle the information, but eventually, Kaneki sighed and looked up, forcing out a trembling, "I... I never told you because... I hate thinking about what happened. I don't... I don't talk to  _ anyone _ about it. I just... Please, don't hate me..."

"We don't hate you," Yomo said instantly, reaching out and squeezing Kaneki's wrist slightly. Surprisingly enough, that was all it took for the younger man to break. He shattered, letting go of his cup in favour of hiding his face in his hands and sobbing. That startled Yomo and Touka, but what really got to them was the words that flooded from Kaneki as he cried...

"I... I'm sorry... I just... It's my fault he had to fight to begin with. If I'd been stronger, I could have protected him and he wouldn't have had to fight at all and it's  _ all my fault _ and-"

The door to the cafe opening shattered the quiet of the cafe (except for Kaneki's breakdown, of course) and made the crying ghoul fall silent instantly. Thankfully, the pair entering the cafe didn't seem to notice that something was up, one of them instead babbling away with a certain, "I'm sure it'll be okay. I know that a lot's happened, but he's bound to want to talk to you! I mean, he's your brother! He won't be able to hate you-"

"That's where you're wrong," a painfully familiar voice cut in, tired and a little bit scared, "He... Ken's been through so much, you know? And I just... I-"

"H... Haise?" Kaneki cut in as he looked at his brother, but only after rubbing his face to clean up. It made Haise freeze in his tracks, caught the attention of the man he was with, and made the other three ghouls in the room blink quickly. Well... The three full ghouls. Kaneki's heart ached for his brother, not quite recognising the scent he was giving off but able to put two and two together...

"I... Ken? I... What are you doing here?" Haise asked, visibly torn as he stared at his older brother. Kaneki hesitated, standing up and walking to his twin. He shook slightly as he did, but if it was due to anger, exhaustion or fear he didn't know. For a moment, he hesitated, unsure, but when Haise opened his mouth, asking what was wrong, Kaneki saw red. He... He'd been through so much, he'd fucking mourned, he'd thought it was his fault for so long- So he punched Haise, right in the jaw, and growled out his anger...

"How  _ dare _ you? I... I thought you were fucking dead for years, and you suddenly reappear out of nowhere? You-"

"Ken, I-"

"You  _ died _ !" Kaneki hissed, voice shaking with pain and desperation and something no one could quite put their finger on, "I... I  _ saw _ it! I... You died and then you randomly reappear and expect me to just be okay with that?"

"Listen, Ken-"

"I fucking blamed myself for  _ years _ ! I fucking hated myself! I... But you're fucking alive! And you never bothered to contact me until now! You never fucking  _ cared _ ! I-"

"I did-"

"I thought you were dead!" Kaneki just... shattered, shaking and barely able to stand as he glared at Haise through his tears. The raw emotions in his voice seemed to be what got to Haise, as the younger twin took a shaky breath, visibly unsure, before whispering.

"I wasn't rescued until last year. And, then, when I was... I thought you wouldn't want anything to do with me... I was recovering and I'd... Fuck, Ken, they... They made me into one of them. They turned me into a fucking ghoul..." Haise's voice shook, small and scared and so, so lost, and it just... That was what made Kaneki cave, gathering his brother into a tight hug. It startled Haise, but he just melted after a few second, clinging tightly to Kaneki and sobbing. Not that Kaneki was holding up any better, murmuring pained nothings into his brother's ear and just barely keeping himself from collapsing to the floor. They were both just as broken as each other... They-

"Um... What on Earth is going on here?"


	15. Catching up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm sorry this chapter is so... lackluster. I've been struggling to find much motivation for this story. But I'm trying!

The sudden voice startled Kaneki and Haise apart, prompting the older twin to reach for his knife and glare towards the door. Of course, he relaxed when he realised it was just Akira and Amon, forcing himself to smile slightly at them. That did nothing to dissuade Akira's confused, concerned gaze, so Kaneki sighed and pushed out a trembling, "I... Um... It turns out Haise is alive?"  
Akira froze at that, blinking quickly, before her jaw dropped when Haise turned to face her. The pair stared at each other, one half shocked out of her mind and the other unsure as to who the other was. Of course, that just made Kaneki sigh, so he rubbed his face in an attempt to look presentable as told Haise, "That's Mado Akira. From when we were kids?"  
"I..." Haise trailed off, visibly unsure, but he was quickly cut off by Akira, who threw herself at him. They both stumbled backwards, almost falling, but Kaneki managed to prop them up, cracking a small smile as Akira hugged Haise close and mumbled into his suit jacket, going on about missing him. The reaction startled both Haise and Amon, but Haise was quick to recover, holding Akira close and comforting her. It... It made something in Kaneki ache. He knew that, if Akira found out about Haise being a half-ghoul, she'd be angry, she'd hate him, she'd try to hurt him-  
"I didn't know you knew Mado, Haise..." the man Haise had arrived with commented, eyeing the blonde woman with visible distrust. His voice caught Akira's attention, prompting her to pull away from Haise, but before she could say anything, he continued, "That makes this easier... Mado, Amon, this is Sasaki Haise. He is the lead ghoul in our new human-ghoul relations program."  
Akira froze visibly at that, even as Amon's eyes widened, and shook her head quickly, murmuring, "But... But Haise's not a ghoul-"  
"I... I'm technically half-ghoul..." Haise spoke up, voice shaking softly. Akira continued to shake her head, disbelieving, and Kaneki felt himself ache. But he couldn't get involved. He couldn't... If he said something, it'd throw suspicion onto him-  
"I... A what now?" Akira asked, eyeing Haise closely. As the slightly shorter teen hesitated, Kaneki could barely fight the urge to step in, to say something, anything, to help him-  
"Haise was born a human, as I'm guessing you know, Mado, but whilst being held by gourmet ghouls, he had a kagune forcefully implanted into him. When he was rescued, a little over a year ago, he was the first half-ghoul the CCG had encountered that hadn't tried to kill them instantly. When who he was came to light, Washuu-san, our boss, took him under his wing. He helped Haise recover from his experiences, looked out for him, and made me his handler. Since then, Haise has agreed to be the lead ghoul in our human-ghoul relations program, hoping to help the ghouls that aren't actually evil," explained the man Haise had arrived with, shrugging. For a few long moments, silence lingered, but eventually, it had to be shattered... And it was, by Haise's hesitant voice.  
"I... Ken, Akira, I know that you both have plenty of reasons to hate me... Especially now that I'm a... a ghoul... But I just... I never asked to become this! And... And no ghoul asked to be born the way they are. S... So even after everything that happened, I know that we can't hate them all. I... I even met some good ones! And they helped me! Not... Not all of them are evil... And... And I just-"  
"I get it, Haise," Kaneki murmured, smiling ever so slightly. It earned him a wide-eyed look from Haise as he blinked rapidly, so Kaneki rolled his eyes and joked weakly, "If there's anything I'm going to be angry at you about, becoming a ghoul or wanting to help them is pretty low on the list..."  
The joke fell flat as Haise winced, and Kaneki sighed to himself. After a moment of hesitation, he leaned slightly against his brother, uncomfortable with a proper hug but wanting to show he was okay, as he murmured, "I'm sorry for punching you..."  
That earned him a wet chuckle as Haise nudged him lightly, and Kaneki felt... conflicted. Part of him was over the moon that Haise was alive and (seemingly) well. But the rest? It was suspicious. After so long of thinking Haise was dead, he just turned up suddenly? He just happened to appear in the cafe Kaneki worked at? He just happened to appear right after Kaneki adopted the kids? He just-  
"So, Haise, you... You're the person we're meeting? To talk about the program?" Akira asked hesitantly, eyeing the twins cautiously. More specifically, it looked like she was checking if Kaneki was okay... It made the half-ghoul smile as he nodded slightly, silent whilst Haise replied that, yes, he was. For a few tense seconds, no one spoke, but eventually, Akira sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose as she grumbled, "You know what? You're alive, which is a miracle in and of itself, so I don't see why you can't be the lead ghoul of the program..."  
Haise smiled at that, a small, hesitant thing, and Kaneki couldn't fight the dumb grin that tugged at his lips. Haise was alive! Kaneki's brother was alive, if not different... But he was alive, and that was all that mattered! Haise was-  
His phone ringing distracted Kaneki, and he pulled it out of his pocket with an apologetic glance at everyone else. They waved him off, though, Akira and Haise falling into step as they walked up to the counter to order from Nishio, Touka and Yomo willing to let him do his thing, and Amon and the man Haise had been with staring each other down... So Kaneki was able to answer the call with a bright, "Hello?"  
"Hello, Kaneki..." Blake's voice made Kaneki frown, instantly concerned, but he relaxed when all the babysitter did was ask, "When will you be back? You said at about five, but I wanted to be sure..."  
Glancing at the clock, Kaneki internally cursed. He'd been out longer than he'd realised... Taking a few seconds to calculate if he the next train, Kaneki concluded that if he left within the next few minutes, he'd be able to get home in time... Sighing to himself, he told Blake, "I should be there then, yeah. I hope the kids have been good?"  
"They were angels," Blake replied, only to be distracted by something Kaneki couldn't quite hear. Thankfully, they were quick to refocus on him, telling him that Hikaru needed her nappy changed, Kaneki let them go with a few words of encouragement, and soon enough the call was over... Sighing again, Kaneki looked over at where Haise and Akira were catching up and smiled. He couldn't quite shake the feeling that something was wrong, but he shoved it to the back of his mind, for now, walking over to the pair.  
"I need to head home..." he told the pair, which earned him matching pouts. He was unable to fight the smile that tugged at his lips as he rolled his eyes, stating, "We should all catch up some time..."  
Akira and Haise agreed easily, setting up a meeting for the weekend, so Kaneki squeezed both of their shoulders affectionately before gathering his things (and the shopping Yomo had done for him during his shift) before leaving with a quiet goodbye...


End file.
